My Mother's Kitchen: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the meaning of life by Peter Gethers
Peter Gethers grew up around good food. His mother Judy's family owned Ratner's in New York and his father worked in the entertainment business so he was always wining and dining friends and clients. When Judy was in her 50's and living in L.A. she decided to learn how to professionally cook and became a well-respected chef and mentor. She was particularly close with Wolfgang Puck. Once Judy started cooking and working in the food business her life really blossomed. She was the youngest of five children and always felt overshadowed by her family, but out on the West coast doing something new that she loved really changed her. In her eighties after two strokes she could no longer cook, but Peter hired professional chefs to cook for her once a week and he also started talking to his mother more about cooking and food. While he always loved eating, Peter wasn't a gifted cook like his mother. But, he had the idea to cook her a meal with all of her favorite foods as a way to bring everyone and everything she loved together. Unfortunately she died before that meal could take place, but then it became her memorial instead. Throughout the book Peter combines family history with food and memorial meals they experienced. As he puts together this "ultimate meal" he provides the recipes he used and his often-hilarious attempts at cooking each part of the meal. At times funny and at other times serious or sad, this is a loving tribute to his mother and how her love of food shaped Peter and their family.
I did find it incredibly sad that Judy's oldest brother tried not once or twice, but three different times to cheat her out of family money from Ratner's (the family restaurant) and the buildings their father had owned. Then the same thing happened to her husband Steven when his siblings cheated him out of his rightful portion of the family business when it was sold. It made me feel a little better to know my family isn't the only one who has people on both sides stealing/cheating/whatever family members for money though...
Some quotes I liked:
[After Judy's brother tried to steal the rights to the Ratner's cookbook that she wrote and published] "I was a bit awed by the courage it took for my mom to stand up to her brother - and for herself - the way she did. Her anger and firm sense of right and wrong overrode almost seven decades of familial deference. It was a turning point in her life. I don't think she was ever bullied or cowed by anyone ever again." (p. 49)
"A year after my mother started working in the restaurant kitchen, Patrick erected a new building on the restaurant's parking lot and opened Ma Cuisine, Ma Maison's cooking school. My mother became its first manager and main teacher. She was now cooking and teaching alongside Julia Child and Paula Wolfert and her new friend Maida, the stars of that era's food universe, as well as with the new generation of great California chefs: Jonathan Waxman, Nancy Silverton, Mark Peel, and so many others." (p. 186)
"When I was around seven years old, television commercials began running that warned of the dangers that tobacco engendered. Because I saw how much my dad smoked, these commercials scared me. Before my eighth birthday, my dad asked me what I might be thinking about as a present. I said that I wanted him to stop smoking - that would be the perfect gift. So on my eighth birthday, my dad stopped cold. He never had another cigarette for the remaining twenty-eight years of his life. But the damage had been done [he died of lung cancer]." (p. 217)
The Weight of Him by Ethel Rohan
Billy Brennan has always been comforted by food - food for a reward or food for comfort from a bad day or disappointment. But when Billy's oldest son Michael kills himself there is nothing that can comfort Billy. While working through his grief Billy remembers all the ways he failed Michael and all the ways he's disappointed himself as well. Then Billy decides that while he can't bring Michael back he can save himself. He decides to lose 200 pounds - half his body weight and organize a fundraiser and march to bring awareness to suicide. Along the way Billy gets a lot of resistance from his family, but this time he is serious and he perseveres and slowly starts losing weight. As he reconnects with himself he finds that he can still make a difference with his remaining children and finally feel better about himself. You will find yourself cheering Billy along as he gains confidence and grows as a person. While he often feels alone in his crusade, he starts to see how many people he is helping and affecting. A heartbreaking, but hopeful novel that explores some difficult issues.
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
I had heard a lot of good things about this book and it's principles, but hadn't actually read it. When I saw that there was a new edition out I decided to finally read it. While a lot of the information was great a lot of it seemed repetitive. There were also a lot of examples, but the examples didn't play out so you only got part of that story which seemed odd. In some of the reviews I read people made fun of the first and last chapters - a day in a boundaryless life and a day in a life with boundaries, but I thought these were over-simplified ways to make their overall point which is the importance of boundaries in all areas. While there is a lot of helpful information it did seem somewhat simplified - create boundaries because that's what God models and you'll be happier and healthier. But, they didn't really get too much into how hard it can be to do that and that's where I would have liked to see some of the example stories more fleshed out into what the rest of that story looked like. Overall, definitely solid, good ideas, but a little over-simplified.
Some quotes I liked:
"Alcoholism causes massive boundary confusion in the child. Adult children of alcoholics never feel safe in relationships. They're always waiting for the other person to let them down or attack them unexpectedly. They keep their guard up constantly. Setting limits is traumatic for adult children of alcoholics. Saying no might bring respect, or it might bring rage...They are uncertain about what they are and aren't responsible for." (p. 82)
"Today we call a person who continually rescues another person a codependent. In effect, codependent, boundaryless people 'cosign the note' of life for the irresponsible people in their lives. Then they end up paying the bills - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - and the spendthrifts continue out of control with no consequences. They continue to be loved, pampered, and treated nicely...Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are." (p. 87)
"Boundaries are a 'litmus test' for the quality of our relationships." (p. 110)
"This is why individuals with injured boundaries often are shocked by the rage they feel inside when they begin setting limits. This is generally not 'new anger' - it's 'old anger.' It's often years of nos that were never voiced, never respected, and never listened to. The protests against all the evil and violation of our souls sit inside us, waiting to tell their truths." (p. 114)
"Many times to set boundaries with someone is to risk losing the love that you have craved for a long time. To start to say no to a controlling parent is to get in touch with the sadness of what you do not have with them instead of still working hard to get it. This working hard keeps you away from the grief and keeps you stuck. But accepting the reality of who they are and letting go of the wish for them to be different is the essence of grief. And that is sad indeed." (p. 283)
Whiskey in a Teacup by Reese Witherspoon
I've always liked Reese Witherspoon as an actress and now I appreciate her even more as she's working hard to produce more women-centered TV shows and movies. She seems like she would be a super fun friend, so when I saw that she had this book coming out I was excited. A friend and I tried to get tickets to her book tour event in our town, but all the reasonably priced tickets sold out in minutes. I think seeing her speak in person would be great, but I was pretty disappointed with the book. It seemed to feed into a lot of old stereotypes about Southern women - that it's better to wear dresses and chewing gum is vulgar. I love the South and I grew up and live in the South, but this just seemed less like an ode to the South and more like a long J Crew ad for what it looks like to be ultra wealthy in the modern South. While some of the recipes included look good there was nothing new - fried chicken, biscuits, sun tea, etc. Overall, it was disappointing and I'm glad I checked it out from the library instead of buying it.
Virtually Perfect by Paige Roberts
Lizzie Glass had a show on the Food Network and a cookbook deal, but after just a few years her show is canceled and she is barely scraping by living in New York City working as a private chef. When she decides to move home to Philadelphia she ends up landing a summer job as a personal chef for a wealthy family at their summer home on the Jersey shore. Going from her normal life to working as the hired help in a lavish home is quite an adjustment, but things are working out and this job is paying the bills. But when Lizzie meets her employer's 20-something daughter Zoe things start to change. Zoe runs a popular "clean living" and wellness website, but soon Lizzie realizes things aren't what they seem with Zoe and her site. Lizzie has to decide if it's worth confronting Zoe and how that might impact her current job and her future.
This is a quick and mostly light read. I did like Lizzie's character and the antics with the family she's working for and definitely entertaining. It wasn't the best book I ever read, but it would be a good beach read especially since most of the story takes place over the summer.
The Book of Books by Jessica Allen (PBS)
I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but it was definitely worth reading. Each of the Great American Read top 100 books are profiled with info about the book and the author. Throughout the book are a few literary-related articles about everything from book reviews to literary terms and previous jobs of famous authors. At first I was just going to read the entries for the books that I had read, but there is so much interesting information that I ended up reading the whole book. I've read 35 of the Great American Read titles and this book definitely inspired me to add some other titles to my to-read list and maybe re-read some of the ones I've already read and enjoyed. There was a lot of unique information I didn't know like S.E. Hinton signed the contract for The Outsiders on the day she graduated from high school or that James Patterson has a team of co-writers helping him churn out up to 9 hardcover books a year! Overall, a really interesting book, but I do wish it was physically smaller.
A great quote from the book:
[From the section about book reviews] "Salman Rushdie unabashedly expressed his scorn for Fifty Shades of Grey(2011): 'I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace.'" [And ironically in this book Twilight and War and Peace are side by side entries...]
The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn (Evening Edition book club)
Dr. Anna Fox is agoraphobic and can't leave her house after some unspecified trauma. She lives in a huge house in New York City and spends her days drinking wine, watching old black & white movies, and watching her neighbors. When a new family moves into one of the nearby houses Anna is especially curious about them. One night she sees someone get stabbed in their house and calls the police. But the police find nothing and the neighbors deny anything happened. Due to Anna's past, she is written off as having hallucinated the event - and even she finally sees that. Until she doesn't. Once she realizes something DID happen it might be too late for Anna as well.
OK, I had VERY low expectations going into this book. My book club picked it, but after discussing The Flight Attendantlast month I was not really super excited about reading yet ANOTHER book with a female who drinks too much unreliable narrator. But, this one really surprised me in a good way. There are 2 huge twists in the story that I did not see coming at all. Nearly everyone in the story is an unreliable or suspicious character that anyone could have done anything or nothing - you're just not sure. The ending is kind of over-the-top, but definitely made for a great thriller. My only real complaint is that the first half of the book is pretty slow, but I think the author is trying to really paint the picture of Anna's character and all her routines that come back to work against her in the end. I wouldn't be surprised if we see this as a movie in the next few years. This should make for a great book club discussion.
