Hill Women: finding family and a way forward in the Appalachian mountains by Cassie Chambers
Cassie Chambers is born to two college students in rural Kentucky. Because her mother was determined to finish college Cassie spends a lot of time with her Granny and Aunt Ruth on their rented farm. Despite the limited opportunities in their area the women in Cassie's family were determined for her mother to finish college and for Cassie to go too. Cassie ends up attending Yale and Harvard, yet she feels the pull to come back and try to help her hometown area. The book is divided into three sections - her childhood up through high school, her college experiences, and when she comes back to work as a lawyer in Kentucky. Chambers highlights the (well-known) challenges of rural Appalachia, but also highlights the strong women she grew up with and continue to interact with in her law work.
Several reviews I read said this book has been compared to Educated and Hillbilly Elegy, but I didn't agree. I do agree that this is similar to a female-version of Hillbilly Elegy, but I think Vance was a much better writer. And this is no Educated. I was really looking forward to reading this book, but I found it disappointing. Each section felt skimmed over like there could have been more, but it was just a surface-level sketch of that time in her life. The last section is basically her VERY strong views on why Democrats are better and that was off-putting. I'm not a Republican, but I feel like politicians on either side aren't going to fix these impoverished areas - the community can though, including people like Cassie getting an education and coming back to help her community. Overall, I was disappointed and would not recommend this one.
Several reviews I read said this book has been compared to Educated and Hillbilly Elegy, but I didn't agree. I do agree that this is similar to a female-version of Hillbilly Elegy, but I think Vance was a much better writer. And this is no Educated. I was really looking forward to reading this book, but I found it disappointing. Each section felt skimmed over like there could have been more, but it was just a surface-level sketch of that time in her life. The last section is basically her VERY strong views on why Democrats are better and that was off-putting. I'm not a Republican, but I feel like politicians on either side aren't going to fix these impoverished areas - the community can though, including people like Cassie getting an education and coming back to help her community. Overall, I was disappointed and would not recommend this one.
The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides (Books & Banter book club)
Alicia Berenson's life seems perfect. She's a famous painter and is married to an equally famous photographer. So, when Alicia murders her husband and never speaks another word everyone in her life is stunned. Alicia ends up in a facility called The Grove, a psychiatric hospital in North London. Theo Faber is a psychotherapist who knew Alicia's story and always wanted to work with her, so when a position opens up at the Grove he gets his chance. Theo seems convinced that Alicia didn't kill her husband and tries to get her to speak. But, his motives are not clinical or altruistic.
I was actually looking forward to reading this one because the premise sounded good. But, while it was a quick read, the "twist" and ending were AWFUL. Based on the ending I don't really understand why Theo would put himself in the position he did other than his huge ego. This one was a HUGE disappointment and I would NOT recommend. Curious to see what my book club will have to say about this one.
I was actually looking forward to reading this one because the premise sounded good. But, while it was a quick read, the "twist" and ending were AWFUL. Based on the ending I don't really understand why Theo would put himself in the position he did other than his huge ego. This one was a HUGE disappointment and I would NOT recommend. Curious to see what my book club will have to say about this one.
Maid: hard work, low pay, and a mother's will to survive by Stephanie Land (Evening Edition book club and re-read)
I almost didn't read this one based on the very mixed reviews, but decided to give it a try. When I saw that Barbara Ehrenreich wrote the introduction, I thought surely it can't be terrible if Barbara Ehrenreich is writing the introduction. Was this book Evicted or Nickel and Dimed? No. But, it was still a well-written account of one woman's struggle to provide a better life for her daughter and how hard that can be with no family safety net at all. Stephanie Land is twenty-eight when she unexpectedly gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby. She hoped her boyfriend Jamie would step up to the plate, but never did except when he could do something to throw in her face. When he starts to become violent Land finds herself and her infant daughter homeless. She is able to cobble together enough government assistance and work to stay barely above water, but there is always the looming dread of something unexpected - illness, car accident, etc. Her family was almost as broke as she was, but were also abusive and not to be relied on. Land realizes that her only escape is education. She enrolls in community college and by the end of the book she is able to transfer to a University and there is a lot more hope for her and her daughter.
A lot of the bad reviews of this book pointed out every little mistake or bad decision Land made. Did she make some really bad decisions and mistakes? Yes. Haven't you? It's nice to know there are so many people out there making NO MISTAKES AT ALL in their personal lives. I feel like Land is honest with the bad decisions she made and owns it. Several reviews complained that she played the victim and never took responsibility, but I didn't read it that way at all. One thing she sees over and over in the houses she cleans is that it doesn't matter how much money you make you can still be miserable - not that having more money doesn't make things easier, but just money in and of itself doesn't make you happy. Overall, I was pleasantly surprised based on the reviews I read and am looking forward to what Stephanie Land will write in the future.
Update to Jan. 2021 reading: In re-reading the book I still enjoyed it and feel that Stephanie is a very good writer. You could feel her anxiety at times because she wrote so descriptively. In doing more research because my second reading was for book club I found her website with more of her writing. I did find that one thing she omitted from this book was that when she graduated college when her daughter Mia was almost 6 she was also almost 9 months pregnant with baby #2 who's father was also not in the picture. It's easy to judge someone in her shoes, but I was like REALLY?! You did this AGAIN and still surprised that it's MORE of a struggle to be a single mother to two children? Honestly, that made me less sympathetic to her even though that's not included in the book. I still think this is a good book and worth reading.
A lot of the bad reviews of this book pointed out every little mistake or bad decision Land made. Did she make some really bad decisions and mistakes? Yes. Haven't you? It's nice to know there are so many people out there making NO MISTAKES AT ALL in their personal lives. I feel like Land is honest with the bad decisions she made and owns it. Several reviews complained that she played the victim and never took responsibility, but I didn't read it that way at all. One thing she sees over and over in the houses she cleans is that it doesn't matter how much money you make you can still be miserable - not that having more money doesn't make things easier, but just money in and of itself doesn't make you happy. Overall, I was pleasantly surprised based on the reviews I read and am looking forward to what Stephanie Land will write in the future.
Update to Jan. 2021 reading: In re-reading the book I still enjoyed it and feel that Stephanie is a very good writer. You could feel her anxiety at times because she wrote so descriptively. In doing more research because my second reading was for book club I found her website with more of her writing. I did find that one thing she omitted from this book was that when she graduated college when her daughter Mia was almost 6 she was also almost 9 months pregnant with baby #2 who's father was also not in the picture. It's easy to judge someone in her shoes, but I was like REALLY?! You did this AGAIN and still surprised that it's MORE of a struggle to be a single mother to two children? Honestly, that made me less sympathetic to her even though that's not included in the book. I still think this is a good book and worth reading.
Our Lady of Perpetual Hunger by Lisa Donovan
Lisa Donovan always loved watching her grandmother cook, but didn't plan a career in cooking. After high school she was working in a restaurant as a server and began learning about the restaurant industry. She was also in an abusive relationship and ended up getting pregnant, so that temporarily derailed her college plans. Along the way Donovan finds her way through food and cooking. She works through generational trauma by cooking the food of her grandmother and Mexican ancestors. She brings together Mexican cuisine with traditional Southern cuisine and baking.
I really wanted to like this book more than I did. I like Lisa Donovan and she's obviously overcome a lot to get to where she is today. But, I felt like the book was choppy and kind of all over the place. In the book jacket it talks about her struggle to succeed in the male-dominated restaurant world, but I felt like her experiences were kind of glossed over. I just felt like she focused more on the trauma she endured earlier in her life than her experiences of misogyny in the restaurant world. Parts of the book are hard to read and I personally enjoyed the second half more than the first half. I will also say her husband seems AMAZING and it's pretty miraculous that with her past she managed to marry someone like him. Overall, it was OK, but I wouldn't really recommend this one.
Some quotes I did like:
"Then I pulled seven snapper fish onto the kitchen island, sharpened my knife, remembered where I came from, the shit I had taken in my life, the wrongs I had made right time and time again, and I got back to fucking work." (p. 18)
"John and I had finally figured out a schedule that worked for our family, and throughout it all he was head over heels supportive of my work, doing the dance between our worlds so beautifully and amicably in ways I had never seen a man rise up for his woman. My aprons would be washed and folded for my next day's work, and back when I was pulling all those doubles at City House, a bowl of pasta would be kept warm on the stove waiting for me at night when I came home late. If he could carry any of the weight of how hard I was working, he did." (p. 198)
"This was at the height of hearing man after man on NPR and in The New York Times telling stories of their mothers, their grandmothers, anyone whom they felt gave them clout or a sense of humility and whom, I'm certain, they honored and cherished and wanted to shine a light on, hold up high on that pedestal. The thing is, women are revered straight into abjection, useful only as a totem of inspiration. When we go to make that work on our own, we are unable to survive in the industry the men built, the one they sell our wares within." (p. 248)
"In the midst of all this current talk of women in kitchens and women getting their time in the restaurant industry, investors still can't seem to find their way to actually funding women, but holy shit are they suckers for boys who pretend they are feminists in a very all-of-a-sudden way. It only took me walking out of my fifth meeting with potential investors in Nashville to realize the game wasn't changing. The only thing that has changed is the story men are spinning to get what they want. And bankers and investors are still lapping it up and pouring money on their projects like water on a grease fire." (p. 268)
I really wanted to like this book more than I did. I like Lisa Donovan and she's obviously overcome a lot to get to where she is today. But, I felt like the book was choppy and kind of all over the place. In the book jacket it talks about her struggle to succeed in the male-dominated restaurant world, but I felt like her experiences were kind of glossed over. I just felt like she focused more on the trauma she endured earlier in her life than her experiences of misogyny in the restaurant world. Parts of the book are hard to read and I personally enjoyed the second half more than the first half. I will also say her husband seems AMAZING and it's pretty miraculous that with her past she managed to marry someone like him. Overall, it was OK, but I wouldn't really recommend this one.
Some quotes I did like:
"Then I pulled seven snapper fish onto the kitchen island, sharpened my knife, remembered where I came from, the shit I had taken in my life, the wrongs I had made right time and time again, and I got back to fucking work." (p. 18)
"John and I had finally figured out a schedule that worked for our family, and throughout it all he was head over heels supportive of my work, doing the dance between our worlds so beautifully and amicably in ways I had never seen a man rise up for his woman. My aprons would be washed and folded for my next day's work, and back when I was pulling all those doubles at City House, a bowl of pasta would be kept warm on the stove waiting for me at night when I came home late. If he could carry any of the weight of how hard I was working, he did." (p. 198)
"This was at the height of hearing man after man on NPR and in The New York Times telling stories of their mothers, their grandmothers, anyone whom they felt gave them clout or a sense of humility and whom, I'm certain, they honored and cherished and wanted to shine a light on, hold up high on that pedestal. The thing is, women are revered straight into abjection, useful only as a totem of inspiration. When we go to make that work on our own, we are unable to survive in the industry the men built, the one they sell our wares within." (p. 248)
"In the midst of all this current talk of women in kitchens and women getting their time in the restaurant industry, investors still can't seem to find their way to actually funding women, but holy shit are they suckers for boys who pretend they are feminists in a very all-of-a-sudden way. It only took me walking out of my fifth meeting with potential investors in Nashville to realize the game wasn't changing. The only thing that has changed is the story men are spinning to get what they want. And bankers and investors are still lapping it up and pouring money on their projects like water on a grease fire." (p. 268)
The Adventurer's Son by Roman Dial
Roman Dial and his family were adventurers. He moved to Alaska and took up rock climbing and other outdoor adventure sports. He and his whole family lived in Indonesia while Roman was doing scientific research. He eventually took a professor position back in Alaska and that stayed their home base, but as a family they often traveled all over the world. Roman's son Cody, who also went by the name Roman, was just as adventurous as his dad. He would work and save money to go off on long-term exploring trips all over the world. He was in Costa Rica when he decided to do an off-trail jungle trip and never returned. When Roman realized he was was past his return date he called the Costa Rica authorities and flew down with a friend to search on their own. That turned into a two year ordeal in trying to find his son in dense, off-trail, jungles. The local authorities weren't much help and the longer he looked and stayed in Costa Rica the more Roman realized just how dangerous the area is - drug smugglers, poachers, illegal miners, AND venomous snakes and other jungle hazards were everywhere. Thankfully, they do eventually find Cody's remains and the family did have some closure, but Roman was often racked with guilt that his own adventurous lifestyle may have been what led Cody to his ultimate death.
I almost didn't read this one because a lot of the reviews talk about how self-centered Roman is and how the book was more about him than his son. But, after a friend read it and recommended it I'm glad I gave it a chance. Yes, he writes about himself, but I read that as more of the backstory to why Cody was so adventurous and all the ways he and Cody were alike and loved exploring together. I didn't read it was self-centered at all. He talked a lot about the guilt he had and whether or not to discourage his son's travels when they communicated by email. Cody was 27 years old and was more experienced than almost anyone his own age in both jungle and arctic conditions - he didn't die because he was dumb and got lost or ran out of food. His death was an accident that could have happened to anyone - prepared or not. My only complaint about the book is that the chapters about all their searching in Costa Rica and all the local people (both friends and authorities) started to run together and go on a little too long. I was glad the family found closure and Cody's remains.
I've always wanted to go to Costa Rica because I love sloths and would love to see them in the wild, but after reading this book I might reconsider. Cody purposely chose non-tourist destinations, but it is definitely portrayed as a pretty sketchy and dangerous place.
Hold On, But Don't Hold Still by Kristina Kuzmic
Even though I don't have children, when I stumbled on Kristina Kuzmic's videos on Facebook I thought she was hilarious and also very insightful. I love how she really tries to be the person she needed when she was at her lowest. So, I was excited to read her book, but I found it less inspiring that many of her short videos. Most of the most poignant or funny moments in the book I had already seen in her videos. I also felt like the book was more a collection of essays than a book that flowed together. It was more like each chapter was from a random time in her life and that made the book feel a little jumbled to me. But, I did not know that she won a contest and had a show on OWN when the network first started. Other, than that I really didn't learn much more than I already had from her videos. It's not a bad book, just not what I was expecting.
A Lab of One's Own: one woman's personal journey through sexism in science by Rita Colwell, Phd
Rita Colwell is one of the top scientists in America, but her journey to get there was difficult. She was in graduate school in the 1950's and had a very hard time finding a male professor to mentor her in a PhD program. She ended up changing her course of study six times because of this. But, she succeeded mostly by never giving up, but also by finding men who would support her along the way - including her husband. Her accomplishments are amazing especially considering how much resistance she had along the way. When I read the blatant sexism and misogyny toward women in college/higher education it's mind blowing, but sadly it's not been completely eradicated either - often it's just more subtle. And while Colwell's story and the stories of the other women scientists she highlights in this book are AMAZING, she also highlights how much hasn't changed and how hard it still is for women in any male-dominated/historic field. The only reason I didn't rate this book higher is that there is a LOT of technical science language that can be hard to follow or fully understand and then toward the end Colwell is working on government committees/appointments and then starts her own business and there was a lot of technical detail about each entity that I wasn't as into reading about. But, overall her story is amazing at how much she accomplished and how much things have changed for women in science in her lifetime.
Some quotes I liked:
"Several months later, [Oregon Representative Edith] Green, without informing her colleagues in the House of Representatives about the implications of what she was doing, slipped Simchak's short passage banning sex discrimination in any educational program receiving federal aid into what would become the Educational Amendments Act of 1972. Once the passage was in the bill, Green ordered the leaders of the women's groups not to lobby for Title IX of the act. She didn't want to alert the men in Congress to its importance. And so, still happily oblivious to what Title IX meant, Congress made it illegal to discriminate against women in education and gave individual women the power to sue universities in order to hold on to their jobs, protest tenure or employment decisions, and demand equal pay." (p. 42)
"When people ask me how I had time to publish more than eight hundred scientific papers over the course of my career, I tell them I had no choice: as a woman, I had to prove my findings twenty times over just to get them taken seriously. Proving, proving, proving - you were always swimming against the current." (p. 96)
"What we women learned by bitter experience, modern research has confirmed: men who openly help highly qualified women and underrepresented minorities are rewarded, while women and nonwhite minorities who do the same are penalized." (p. 117)
Some quotes I liked:
"Several months later, [Oregon Representative Edith] Green, without informing her colleagues in the House of Representatives about the implications of what she was doing, slipped Simchak's short passage banning sex discrimination in any educational program receiving federal aid into what would become the Educational Amendments Act of 1972. Once the passage was in the bill, Green ordered the leaders of the women's groups not to lobby for Title IX of the act. She didn't want to alert the men in Congress to its importance. And so, still happily oblivious to what Title IX meant, Congress made it illegal to discriminate against women in education and gave individual women the power to sue universities in order to hold on to their jobs, protest tenure or employment decisions, and demand equal pay." (p. 42)
"When people ask me how I had time to publish more than eight hundred scientific papers over the course of my career, I tell them I had no choice: as a woman, I had to prove my findings twenty times over just to get them taken seriously. Proving, proving, proving - you were always swimming against the current." (p. 96)
"What we women learned by bitter experience, modern research has confirmed: men who openly help highly qualified women and underrepresented minorities are rewarded, while women and nonwhite minorities who do the same are penalized." (p. 117)
