The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr
Beth Barr grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination that viewed complementarianism as the only "real" Biblical view of men and women. And while at times she heard things that made her uncomfortable or didn't feel right, she believed (like many women do) that the fault was her and her pride or sin. But in graduate school while working on a Master's degree in medieval history, Barr started to see that historically women in the Church weren't relegated to only the roles of wife, mother, and homemaker. In medieval times many women were preachers or evangelists and had the option of celibacy to pursue a life working for God. The Reformation, which most Protestants hale as highlighting the truth of a personal relationship with God outside of a Priest, actually started to create the idea of women's place being in the home and her highest calling to be a wife and mother. In this book Barr shows the historical timeline of Biblical womanhood and how instead of resisting the patriarchy of the world it created a new (worse) Christian patriarchy that continues to hurt people to this day. Instead of "not conforming to the pattern of this world... [Romans 12:2]" the Church continued to frame women's role from the perspective of the predominant culture of that day - which was patriarchy. Complementarians like to quote Paul a LOT and if you grew up in the Church you likely know the passages I'm referring to. But, if you read anything in the Gospels about Jesus you can see that He truly treats everyone as equals - women, children, Gentiles, slaves, EVERYONE. And His harshest words weren't for women who stepped out of their place, but for religious leaders who put more burdens on people with their strict rules. I've always thought that Christians today don't see just how radical Jesus was in His time (and can still be today). When you read about him speaking to women and calling the children to come to him that seems normal today. But, that was simply not done in that day and time. So, in doing these things Jesus is showing us the truth that in Him "there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. [Galatians 3:28]" Barr does an amazing job with this book showing how Biblical womanhood has been shaped over time to be the twisted version it still is in some circles today. She has a great balance of her personal stories and historical examples to shape the book. It's doubtful any complementarians will pick this book up, but maybe things would improve for women in the Church if they did.
Some quotes I liked:
"Patriarchy by any other name is still patriarchy. Complementarians may argue that women are equal to men, as does the Southern Baptist Convention's 1998 amendment to the 'Baptist Faith and Message': 'The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image.' Yet their insistence that 'equal worth' manifests in unequal roles refutes this." (p. 18)
"Patriarchy exists in the Bible because the Bible was written in a patriarchal world. Historically speaking, there is nothing surprising about biblical stories and passages riddled with patriarchal attitudes and actions. What is surprising is how many biblical passages and stories undermine, rather than support, patriarchy...Isn't it ironic (not to mention tiresome) that we spend so much time fighting to make Christianity look like the world around us instead of fighting to make it look like Jesus Christ?" (p. 36-37)
"The evangelical church fears that recognizing women's leadership will mean bowing to cultural peer pressure. But what if the church is bowing to cultural peer pressure by denying women's leadership? ...Christians in the past may have used Paul to exclude women from leadership, but this doesn't mean that the subjugation of women is biblical. It just means that Christians today are repeating the same mistakes of Christians in the past - modeling our treatment of women after the world around us instead of the world Jesus shows us is possible." (p. 41)
"In a world that didn't accept the word of a woman as a valid witness, Jesus chose women as witnesses for his resurrection. In a world that gave husbands power over the very lives of their wives, Paul told husbands to do the opposite - to give up their lives for their wives. In a world that saw women as biologically deformed men, monstrous even, Paul declared that men were just like women in Christ. No, the problem wasn't a lack of biblical and historical evidence for women to serve as leaders along with men in the church. The problem was male clergy who undermined the evidence." (p. 87)
"Theologically, though, I agree with the Reformation. I am a Protestant - not just because I grew up as a Protestant but also because, as an adult, I have chosen to remain Protestant. I think Luther was right - about faith, Jesus, the priesthood of all believers, and the Bible. At the same time, the Reformation wasn't perfect. Glorifying the past because we like that story better isn't history; it is propaganda." (p. 107)
"Why didn't Protestant theology sanction women to teach and preach, even though it had declared the priesthood of all believers and sanctioned the marriage bed?...Reformation theology might have removed the priest, but it replaced him with the husband." (p. 116-17)
"And just like that, evangelicals baptized patriarchy. Women could not preach and had to submit - not because their bodies were too flawed or their minds too weak, but because God had decreed it through Paul's inerrant writings. Those who doubt these biblical truths doubt the truth of the Bible itself...From my experience as someone who grew up Southern Baptist and remained in conservative evangelical churches throughout most of my adult life, inerrancy creates an atmosphere of fear. Any question raised about biblical accuracy must be completely answered or completely rejected to prevent the fragile fabric of faith from unraveling." (p. 190)
"Complementarianism is patriarchy, and patriarchy is about power. Neither have been about Jesus...Jesus set women free a long time ago. Isn't it finally time for evangelical Christians to do the same? Go, be free!" (p. 218)
Before and After: the incredible real-life stories of orphans who survived the Tennessee Children's Home Society by Judy Christie and Lisa Wingate (Evening Edition book club)
When my book club read Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate I don't know that I had heard of Georgia Tann and the Tennessee Children's Home Society. But, even though it was fiction it was a compelling book that explores a very dark part of Tennessee's history. During Lisa Wingate's book tour for that book she met many of the children who had been placed by Tann and TCHS. Many others reached out to her by email after reading her book. After hearing some of their stories she felt compelled to try to bring them together and record their stories as well. Wingate reached out to her friend Judy Christie to see if she would be willing to attend a reunion event for the children placed by TCHS and record their stories. Christie immediately said yes and recognized the importance of capturing these people's personal stories before they were gone. Most of the children placed are in their 70's and up - many sadly no longer living. Before and After is the work that came from that reunion event and tells several personal stories of the children placed by TCHS and their struggles and sometimes triumphs of finding their biological families.
I didn't know much about Lisa Wingate before reading Before We Were Yours, but I have to say that after reading this book I have so much respect for her drive to tell the real stories that inspired her fiction book. She and Christie really worked hard to contact these people and bring them together. It's a bittersweet book because while some children ended up in good homes, some didn't. And while some have found missing siblings and parents who continued to look for them, some found not-so-great biological families that don't live up to their hopes. But, it is definitely an important book that I would recommend.
Some quotes I liked:
"The investigation [into TCHS] concludes that Tann profited from the operation of TCHS in Memphis in excess of five hundred thousand dollars in the last ten years of her life - taking in today's equivalent of between five and ten million dollars. During that period, the investigation found, she placed more than a thousand children for adoption outside the state of Tennessee, principally in New York and California, the exact number not known." (p. 15)
[In a group therapy session one of the TCHS children attended] "The group leader speaks words to her that no one has before: 'When you're adopted, you come into the world with loss.'" (p. 85)
The Marvelous Pigness of Pigs by Joel Salatin (re-read, listened to audio book)
My husband and I listened to this book mostly driving to and from vacation in the Outer Banks because we had a 7 hour drive. Somehow we didn't finish it on that trip and finished the last 2 hours on our way to the Homesteaders of America conference where we got to hear Joel Salatin speak as well. I doubt we would have enjoyed this book as much if it wasn't narrated by Joel. He is such a phenomenal speaker (and author) so listening to him this long was really a treat. I will say because we listened to it over a few weeks it wasn't as compelling as when I read the print book. I think if we had listened to it over 2-3 days it would have felt more cohesive, but that's not a knock on the book rather on our way of listening to it. It was definitely an enjoyable listen and made for a lot of good conversation in the car.
Crafting with Flannel by Sarah Ramberg
Black, White, and the Grey by Mashama Bailey and John O. Morisano
The Grey is a restaurant in Savannah, GA that is built in an old Greyhound bus terminal - hence the name, The Grey. John Morisano purchased the building and had the idea to make it into a restaurant. He partnered with Mashama Bailey as the executive chef. Together they created this restaurant and along the way became more than business partners, but true friends. This book is the story of how the restaurant came to be and how their relationship developed. In the description of the book it says this is "...a story about the trials and triumphs of two individuals with seemingly little in common - a Black chef from Queens and a White media entrepreneur from Staten Island - who partnered up, relocated to the South, and built a relationship and a restaurant that they hoped would get people talking about race, gender, class, and culture." The premise sounded really interesting to me even though I wasn't familiar with The Grey before. But, I have to say it fell flat for me. Everything felt forced - the book, the restaurant, how insistent John was that since he was white man he needed a black woman chef, etc. I do believe their friendship is genuine, but it really seemed odd how things came together and how fixated he was on certain things. I also felt like the way the book was written was distracting. John and Mashama go back and forth writing a sentence or a few paragraphs about the same event from each perspective. I would have rather had one chapter half by John and half by Mashama or one whole chapter from each of them. And sometimes one is telling a story and the other goes off on a tangent that doesn't really fit. I didn't like the way it was written at all. And my final complaint is that the first chapter starts off with a car accident on the night of the 4th of July, then you don't get the rest of that story until the last chapter. It was just a really weird way to structure the book. I will say the restaurant sounds really interesting and unique, so if I'm ever in Savannah again I'd like to check it out. But, I wouldn't recommend this book.
Wintering: the power of rest and retreat in difficult times by Katherine May
I had read/heard good things about this book and was excited to finally get it (it had a huge hold list for awhile). But, for me it was definitely a letdown once I read it. I assumed based on the subtitle that it would be about resting/healing/nesting/etc. during a hard time. But, it was more of a weirdly vague memoir about the author's re-occurring depression with some other physical ailments thrown in the mix as well. The book starts with the author being irritated that her husband is ill on her birthday trip - he had appendicitis and his appendix burst. That didn't paint her in the best light to start off the book. Then shortly after that she reveals that she has Asperger's which mostly explained her reaction to her husband's serious illness, but it made me have a LOT of sympathy for him even though he's rarely mentioned again in the book. I also agree with several of the reviews I read that this book highlights how privileged her life is and also how unaware she seems to be of that privilege. She's able to quit her job and while that's stressful for her - it's not stressful because of the money, it's stressful for her as her job is a large part of her identity - and she has the financial means to just quit because she doesn't like it anymore. She talks a lot about the patterns she's created for when her "wintering" or depression is coming, but again not everyone can travel the world or sleep all day when they feel like, etc. I also felt like it was weird how she referred to her husband only as H, but gave her son's full name. A lot of the personal issues she brings up as examples in the book she never gives any resolution to - for example were all her stomach problems an actual illness/disease or from the stress of wanting to quit her job? She never gives a conclusion to most of her examples which is frustrating.
Overall, I felt like this book was a whole lot of vagueness with no solid advice or point. Also, if I knew on the front end that "wintering" was her wording for depression I would not have picked up this book. While I don't suffer from depression, I also don't see how this would really help anyone who did either. Her only advice seems to be quit your job and listen to your body. I'm all about trying to listen to your body, but sometimes you have to incorporate that into working as well. I wouldn't recommend this one.
Good Morning, Monster: a therapist shares five heroic stories of emotional recovery by Catherine Gildiner
Catherine Gildiner is a Canadian psychologist who retired from practice after twenty-five years. This book highlights five heroic and memorable patients - people who endured such horrific abuse and neglect, yet were able to tremendously improve through therapy:
Laura - her mother died (or was possibly murdered) and her father dropped her and her two younger siblings off in a remote cabin during the Canadian winter when she was 9.
Peter - the son of Chinese immigrants who was placed in a crib in the attic for 15 hours a day from the age of 2-5 and suffered from attachment disorder.
Danny - an Indigenous man who was taken from his family and placed into a residential school where he was sexually assaulted and molested for most of his time there.
Alana - her father was a pedophile who raped her daily from the age of 4 to 14 and because of that she developed dissociative identity disorder.
Madeline - her mother was a narcissist who greeted her every morning with "good morning, monster" and Madeline developed OCD and high levels of anxiety.
While some of the stories were harder to read than others (Alana's was the worst and Gildiner even said she left out the most horrific details because it would be too hard to read). Gildiner does a good job of telling the patient's story and also how she worked out the best way to help them. I was REALLY impressed with her work with Danny because she sought out Indigenous healers and scholars to understand how to best work with him - and this was back in the 1980's when a lot of these issues weren't in the public eye really at all. Obviously this is not a light read, but it isn't depressing and sad. It's honestly miraculous to see these people not only survive their horrible childhoods, but to truly heal and grow into much happier people than you would think possible based on their histories. It definitely highlights just how resilient the human mind can be.
Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton
This is a quick, cozy read about how to make the Christmas holiday season less stressful and more enjoyable. It's divided into three sections - Before Christmas, During Christmas, and After Christmas. Each chapter within each section focuses on some specific aspects of that season. Each chapter also has lots of questions to contemplate or journal about in order to work out what is most important to you and your family and how best to enjoy the holiday season. To me there wasn't anything ground-breaking in here, but it was a good reminder that we can manage the holidays instead of being controlled by the holidays or family members/traditions/etc. In the first section of the book about planning for Christmas I liked this question Kempton poses: "Given the kind of year you have had, what kind of Christmas would be most nourishing and appropriate? A loud, celebratory one? A quiet, restful one? A magical, surprise-filled one? A traditional one? An alternative one? A cozy one? A sunny one? Or something else?" (p. 67) I think that is definitely something most people don't think about. If it's been a hard year what would make the holidays better? Instead of just doing whatever your family traditionally does, think about what you NEED the holidays to be instead of just doing what you always do. Overall, if you're struggling to reign in Christmas or enjoy it more this would be a good book to check out.
The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey
When Sarah Ramey was 21 she got what she thought was a UTI - normal stuff for a college student. But, instead of getting better with antibiotics it got worse. And after a failed urological procedure she became septic and almost died. That was the beginning of a 13 year descent into the hell of what she calls "a mysterious illness." And it's worth noting that both her parents, stepfather, and one grandmother were all MDs and had access to lots of top doctors/treatments/etc and still no one could really figure out what was wrong. Several of the doctors she saw deserve to lose their medical license (in my opinion) for not just lack of treatment, but such lack of treatment and forced procedures that it became cruelty. What Ramey found along the way was a lot - 1) most doctors mock alternative/holistic health options - including her own family, 2) the average way of life for Americans is VERY unhealthy and is often not examined until some sort of health crisis happens, 3) gut health and your microbiome are VERY important and mostly ignored by the current medical industry, and 4) most doctors spend so little time with their patients that it's no wonder it took her 13 years (and almost dying) to figure out what was going on. I won't give away anything, but she does get answers and let me tell you it's infuriating.
I will say I would NOT recommend this book. It was EXTREMELY detailed in all her (cruel) medical procedures and problems and I honestly don't know how she wasn't suicidal. I will also say I agree with her 100% about American health, or lack thereof, that's seen a normal when it's anything but. I agree that more doctors should be spending time with patients and actually talking about what do you eat, how do you exercise, etc. But, one of the biggest things this book pointed out to me is the importance of taking control of your own health - whether you have a mysterious illness or not. The amount of pain and suffering she could have avoided if she had listened to her gut and not given in to indifferent doctors is staggering. But, as she points out (especially since she came from a family of doctors) you think these are the people who will help me, even if what they are saying contradicts what I know about myself. I also 1000% agree about how women are ignored or dismissed by the medical profession, but again this further highlights to me the importance of taking control of your own health. But, I think these issues are explored in better ways in other books. I forced myself to finish this book because after getting 2/3 of the way through and the second section ending on a particularly awful note, I was like this HAS TO GET BETTER. And it did, but she definitely took the long, overly-detailed route to get there. I feel terrible for her and all she went through, but this was a ROUGH read all the way around.
Some quotes I did like:
"...I began to read about autoimmunity - and I immediately learned that there is a huge autoimmune epidemic on the rise. Incidences of autoimmunity have, at a very low estimate, tripled in the last thirty years." (p. 19)
"Eighty-five percent of fibromyalgia patients are women.
Eighty-five percent of multiple sclerosis patients are women.
Ninety percent of Hashimoto's patients are women.
Eighty percent of chronic fatigue syndrome patients are women.
Seventy-five percent of Lyme patients are women.
Ninety percent of lupus patients, women.
...Seventy-five percent of all autoimmune patients are female. And for the true mystery illnesses, the disparity is even greater - often 8:1, 9:1. This should give anyone pause - not simply because there are so many diseases affecting women these days, not simply because that discrepancy is very large, but for a more serious reason: No one seems to notice." (p. 21)
"You can be sure that if 85 percent of fibromyalgia patients were men, rendering them unable to work from extreme fatigue, bone-deep pain, and mind fog - there would be no problem getting the funding and research to look into this scourge upon the modern male workforce." (p. 26)
"'Sarah,' he said with a sigh. 'Please eat whatever you want. You have irritable bowel syndrome, and food has nothing to do with irritable bowel syndrome.' And I remember that time seemed to slow for just a moment. This claim, food has nothing to do with the organ that processes food, seemed almost cartoonishly disconnected from logic and reason." (p. 63)
"Because make no mistake: these illnesses were few and far between before the late 1960s. And it was in the late sixties, and then dramatically increasing in each decade to follow, that we started to make these radical changes to the diet, chemical use, antibiotic use, and the stresses of being constantly connected to technology. And we have not dealt with this wisely." (p. 183)
"Why is it a radical idea that food and rest might impact our health so greatly, and why is it a dangerous idea to suggest dietary change (which requires some inward analysis, and is also associated with the domain of women, aka food) as a saner starting place before resorting to medication upon medication?" (p. 249)
The Birchbark House by Louise Erdrich (Evening Edition book club)
Omakayas and her family are Ojibwa and live on land her people call the Island of the Golden-Breasted Woodpecker. She is the second of four children living with her parents and grandmother. In The Birchbark House Omakayas takes us through her daily life for four seasons. Starting in Fall and ending with the promise of Spring. Throughout the year we see not only the daily life, but Omakayas's struggles with her siblings. She looks up to her older sister Angelina, but also feels like she'll never be a good as her either. Her younger brother Pinch gets on her nerves, but she loves and dotes on her baby brother Neewo. Throughout the year in this book we see Omakayas grow up in several ways, but especially when her village and family contract smallpox and in a devastating loss that happens from that illness. Overall, an interesting look at what a Native child's life would have been like.
I know that Louise Erdrich wrote this series as a counter-point to the Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder to show what daily life would have been like for a Native child. I found several similarities between Omakayas and Laura - both were the second child, both looked up too, but also were envious of their older sister, and both felt the burden of helping their family during hard times. I also felt like the illustrations in this book had the same feel as the illustrations in the Little House books. I think it's great that she wrote these books so that children could read about daily life from a Native child's perspective. My book club actually decided to read this book after we read Little House in the Big Woods last year and talked about how this series was written in response. I liked this book and would recommend it.
The Turnaway Study by Diana Greene Foster, PhD
This was a very unique book. Diana Foster set out to create the first truly scientific study of women who either had an abortion or were denied an abortion and how that affected their lives for ten years afterward. Foster wanted to create this study to show hard data to confirm or refute claims about abortion - that it harms women mentally or physically, that women use it as a form of birth control, etc. The book is divided into categories about the research like access to abortion, mental health, etc. After each chapter is a woman's personal story of why she sought an abortion and what her life was like afterward whether she received an abortion or not. It was obviously a scientific book with lots of data, but the information they found was interesting. Whether it will be used for any future abortion-related legislation remains to be seen, but now there is at least one comprehensive long-term scientific study out there. And the women's personal stories definitely show how this issue runs through all race, political, and socio-economic areas.
