Cultish: the language of fanaticism by Amanda Montell
"This is a book about the language of fanaticism in its many forms: a language I'm calling Cultish (like English, Spanish, or Swedish)." (p. 13) Amanda Montell explores cults through the language they use and how that language is designed to draw us in and keep us in despite any red flags we're seeing. The first section of the book discusses the language we use to talk about cultish groups, including myths about what the term "cult" even means. The rest of the sections discuss specific types of cults and how language plays out in those more specific types of cults or cultish groups - "suicide cults," controversial religions, MLMs (multi-level marketing companies), "cult fitness," and social media gurus. I thought this was a really unique way to look at cults and how there are so many similarities regardless of what the theology/beliefs are. Despite several reviews I read, Montell doesn't equate Jonestown with MLMs or Peloton users. A lot of the book is looking at how cultish language is at play throughout our world and what does it mean - is it really a cult? Or is the language being used as a marketing technique? The reviews I read were kind of mixed, but I absolutely loved this book. I'm currently running a Learning Circle at the library where I work about cults and decided to read this book at the same time and it honestly could have been a textbook for this class it fit so perfectly. I was impressed overall and think if you are fascinated by cults then this book is a must read!
There were lots of quotes I liked:
"The reason millions of us binge cult documentaries or go down rabbit holes researching groups from Jonestown to QAnon is not that there's some twisted voyeur inside us all that's inexplicably attracted to darkness...we're still hunting for a satisfying answer to the question of what causes seemingly 'normal' people to join - and, more important, stay in - fanatical fringe groups with extreme ideologies. We're scanning for threats, on some level wondering, Is everyone susceptible to cultish influence? Could it happen to you? Could it happen to me? And if so, how?" (p. 11)
"The twenty-first century has produced a climate of sociopolitical unrest and mistrust of long-established institutions, like church, government, Big Pharma, and big business. It's the perfect societal recipe for making new and unconventional groups - everything from Reddit incles to wo0-woo wellness influencers - who promise to provide answers that the conventional ones couldn't supply seem freshly appealing. Add the development of social media and declining marriage rates, and culture-wide feelings of isolation are at an all-time high. Civic engagement is at a record-breaking low." (p. 21)
"For those who bristle at the idea of comparing workout classes to religion, know that as tricky as it is to define 'cult,' scholars have been arguing even harder for centuries over how to classify 'religion.' You might have a feeling that Christianity is a religion, while fitness is not, but even experts have a tough time distinguishing exactly why. I like Burton's way of looking at it, which is less about what religions are and more about what religions do, which is to provide the following four things: meaning, purpose, a sense of community, and ritual. Less and less often are seekers finding these things at church." (p. 24)
"Only the most destructive cults gain attention, so we come to think of all cults as destructive, and we simultaneously only recognize the destructive ones as cults, so those gain more attention, reinforcing their negative reputation, and so on ad infinitum." (p. 36)
"Eileen Barker's studies of the Moonies confirmed that their most obedient members were intelligent, chin-up folks. They were the children of activists, educators, and public servants (as opposed to wary scientists, like my parents). They were raised to see the good in people, even to their own detriment. In this way, it's not desperation or mental illness that consistently suckers people into exploitative groups - instead, it's an overabundance of optimism." (p. 98)
"When you're experimenting with faith and belief, there has to be room to ask questions, express your misgivings, and seek outside information, both early on and deep into your membership. 'The most important thing to remember is that if something is legitimate, it will stand up to scrutiny,' [Dr.] Steven Hassan told me." (p. 149)
"It's not totally clear why some people have a System 1 Spidey sense for pyramid schemes, quack health cures, and other too-good-to-be-true messaging while others don't. Some researchers say it might be related to differences in trust that stem from early childhood - the theory being that when you develop trust as a little kid, it sets a lifelong expectation that the world will be honest and nice to you. All sorts of childhood exposures could cause a person to become more or less trusting." (p. 194)
"Research consistently shows that something like one in five CEOs has psychopathic tendencies." (p. 197)
"According to [Michael] Shermer [founder of the Skeptics Society], studies show that American test subjects with the lowest education levels have a higher probability of subscribing to certain paranormal beliefs, like haunted houses, Satanic possession, and UFO landings; but it's test subjects with the most education who are likeliest to believe in New Age ideas, like the power of the mind to heal disease." (p. 270)
"No 'cult leader' takes advantage of our psychological drives quite like The Algorithm [of social media], which thrives on sending us down rabbit holes, so we never even come across rhetoric we don't agree with unless we actively search for it." (p. 280)
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (Books & Banter and Evening Edition book clubs)
Nora Seed has had a disappointing life. Whatever path she takes seems to be the wrong one and after a particularly bad day she decides she's done with life and plans to kill herself. But, instead of dying she ends up in The Midnight Library where she has to confront all her regrets and can re-live some of the lives that could have been to see if the paths not chosen would have been better or not.
I had heard almost nothing but high praise for this book, but I did not like it at all. I would have put it down after the first 50 pages if it wasn't for both of my book clubs reading it. I didn't like Nora, I didn't like the premise of the library and I pretty much guessed the end about 50-75 pages in. This was like an awful self-help book masquerading as a novel. Haig really beat a dead horse ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS BOOK. Also, it seems like this book takes depression and suicide too lightly - like "oh, just appreciate your situation more and you'll be happy and fine." Ugh. Do NOT see what all the hype is about on this one.
To Boldly Grow by Tamar Haspel
Tamar Haspel was already a foodie and writer, but didn't consider herself an "adventurer." Her husband was very much an adventurer and doer, so he got them started in the food growing world with a rooftop vegetable garden. When they decided to move from New York city to Cape Cod, Haspel had the idea of trying to go a year eating at least one "first-hand" every day. She defines "first-hand food" as food they either grew, raised, foraged, or hunted themselves. Living on Cape Cod that meant a lot of fish and clams at the beginning, but as their food adventures continued their "first-hand food" menu expanded. Eventually they were gardening, foraging, raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, and pigs, and kept bees. They also fished and hunted. I was honestly more impressed that they started doing all this in their 40's - a lot of the things they did are very physically demanding. I was also super impressed (and somewhat surprised) that Haspel who was adamantly anti-gun would want to start hunting. Overall, it's a solid food/gardening/homesteading memoir.
Some quotes I liked:
"Gardening and clamming, the activities, don't bear much resemblance to each other. One is terrestrial and one, aquatic. One yields a plant, and the other, an animal. The skills and tools involved are completely different. Only one requires waders, which are unflattering to absolutely everybody. But the satisfaction of the food itself was identical. In the next few years, I'd discover it was the same with fish I'd caught, venison I hunted, mushrooms I'd foraged. Yet there was no name either for that satisfaction or for the category of food that elicited it. The category, I've taken to calling first-hand food." (p. xx)
"Many of us who believe livestock should have a decent life are trying to convince American consumers that it's worth it to spend a little more for eggs, milk, and meat from well-treated animals. One of the arguments, often, is that those products taste better. If those products don't taste better, the American consumer who ponies up the extra bucks only to find that the expensive stuff tastes just like the cheap stuff is going to feel, quite rightly, that she's been sold a bill of goods." (p. 66) [I disagree with the author on this one. While it may be true that blind egg tasting can't distinguish free-range eggs over factory farmed eggs, there is a HUGE difference in nutritional content. I wish she had explained that and there are studies that show it as well. Sustainably raised meat is light years in nutritional content above factory farmed meat.]
"All our first-hand food activities have connected us to our community and introduced us to people we wouldn't have met otherwise, but none as much as hunting. I'm a left-leaning centrist with a libertarian streak, and the hunting world most definitely leans right. Meeting people who don't share your politics, outside the realm of politics, gives you a chance to see them as three-dimensional, as people who share an interest with you, as people you might even like." (p. 216)
Damaged Goods: new perspectives on Christian purity by Dianna Anderson
I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but decided to read it based on the title. I grew up in the Church during the Purity movement, but my childhood church wasn't fully engulfed in it. I definitely think the Purity movement is damaging - particularly to women and Anderson did a good job of showing some of the ramifications of it. But, despite the title, she did not give a "new perspective on Christian purity." Her solution is to just do whatever you want sexually and not feel bad about anything (as long as everyone involved is consenting). Despite trying, she did not make a biblical case for her views at all. This is a hard issue, but I still believe there is a middle ground between Purity culture and doing whatever you want sexually. Especially if you're claiming to be a Bible-following Christian. I don't have all the answers, but this book is not it.
A much better book on the Purity movement is Pure by Linda Kay Klein and a fantastic book that explores the biblical support of egalitarianism is The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr.
A quote I liked:
"Large portions of modesty teachings are centered on making sure women know our place in the larger scheme of things. We are to be submissive, demure, and quiet. Once we buck this standard, once we step out of line, we will lose the supposed respect of people who did not respect us in the first place." (p. 92)
Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
According to Brene Brown "To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves, but to do either, we must first establish a common understanding of the language of emotion and human experience." (p. xxx) So, Atlas of the Heart attempts to do that - Brown and her team categorized 88 emotions and organized them by categories that grouped similar emotions together. Each chapter is one category that explores several emotions and reiterates that differentiating between emotions is important for real connection. While the concept is interesting, this read more like a beginner's level textbook than a popular non-fiction or self-help book. It is also weirdly oversized and could have easily been cut down to a more regular book size. About every 3rd page is an oversized quote from the nearby pages - to me that seemed mostly unnecessary. I think this book could be helpful for a therapist or even a teacher to help patients or children understand different emotions and why it's important to name emotions correctly. But, I wouldn't recommend this one to the average non-fiction reader. I've only read a few other Brene Brown books, but this one was very different from the other books I've read by her. Overall, it's interesting information, but feels more scholarly or instructive.
Some quotes I liked:
"This is one reason we need to dispel the myth that empathy is 'walking in someone else's shoes.' Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it's like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn't match my experiences." (p. 124-25)
"This connection between humiliation and aggression/violence explains much of what we're seeing today. Amplified by the reach of social media, dehumanizing and humiliating others are becoming increasingly normalized, along with violence. Now, rather than humiliating someone in front of a small group of people, we have the power to eviscerate someone in front of a global audience of strangers." (p. 149)
"The brokenhearted are the bravest among us - they dared to love." (p. 191)
"A 2014 article in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on 'motive attribution asymmetry' - the assumption that your ideology is based in love, while your opponent's is based in hate - suggests an answer. The researchers found that the average Republican and the average Democrat today suffer from a level of motive attribution asymmetry that is comparable with that of Palestinians and Israelis. Each side thinks it is driven by benevolence, while the other is evil and motivated by hatred - and is therefore an enemy with whom one cannot negotiate or compromise." (p. 228-29) [And that is pre-2016 election AND pre-COVID...]
"The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets - John Mark Green." (p. 238)
Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff by Matt Paxton
Matt Paxton is probably best known for his work on the TV series Hoarders. But, in this book he gives tips on how to declutter, downsize, or move with all the experience he's learned in over twenty years of working in the industry. Each chapter focuses on a particular step or issue in the process - for example how to best sort through photographs and paperwork or how to most efficiently sell your belongings or decide what to sell vs. donate. And in each chapter he also includes either a personal story or a story from a client who highlights that particular chapter's topic. Along the way he gives TONS of detailed tips and company/business information.
I've always been fascinated by hoarding and I always liked the episodes of Hoarders that Matt was on, but I put this book on hold before I even realized he wrote it. I'm not a hoarder, but I'm also far from a minimalist. I wanted to read this book to see if it had some tips on dealing with more of the emotional side of family/personal stuff. There were some emotional tips, but it was mostly more practical/physical tips on how to manage the stuff. But, I did like hearing more of his personal story and the book was very well-written with lots of helpful information.
Unearthing the Secret Garden by Marta McDowell
I absolutely LOVED The Secret Garden as a kid and remember watching one of the movie versions with my Dad. My Dad was a gardener and I remember us going to visit gardens on the weekends and looking for one like The Secret Garden with a brick wall enclosure. Frances Burnett had a very interesting life, especially for the time as a woman. She was very successful as a writer and worked all the time, but also devoted lots of time to gardening and planning her gardens. This book is divided into 4 sections - about each of her three homes and the gardens she kept there and how they inspired her to write The Secret Garden. The final section is some of her other writings including a precious story of the robin who inspired the robin in The Secret Garden book. The final chapter is written by Frances's great-great-granddaughter Keri Wilt about her great-great-grandmother's gardening inspiration in their family. Overall, it was a great book about Burnett's love of gardening and how that inspired one of the world's most beloved children's books. If you're a fan of The Secret Garden AND a gardener then this is the perfect book for you. It reminded me a lot of Beatrix Potter's Gardening Life by Marta McDowell.
A quote I liked:
"And as long as you have a garden you have a future, and as long as you have a future you are alive." (p. 267)
12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke
12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You is about how much smartphones and social media have become a near-constant part of our daily lives and what that means for us a Christians. Reinke isn't arguing for going back to pre-smartphone days, but does make some good points about evaluating the actual benefits versus drawbacks of smartphones. This book is written for a VERY SPECIFIC audience - adult Christians. I felt like it would have been hugely beneficial to talk about issues around smartphones/social media and children - especially from a Christian perspective - but that isn't discussed at all. I also feel like more data about phone/social media usage in general would have been helpful, but almost all the data he mentions is from a survey geared towards Christians. Not that that data isn't helpful, but general data on phone/social media usage and how it's grown/changed especially in the last few years would have add to the book in my opinion. I felt like the overall message was as Christians our focus should be on Christ, not ourselves or the world and is whatever I'm doing (on your phone or not) glorifying God and helping spread the gospel. I felt like these two main points were made in pretty much every chapter, so it overall felt a little repetitive to me. But, there were some good points made and I liked that there were several lists of questions to ask yourself about how your phone/social media usage is impacting your life and/or spiritual walk with God.
Some quotes I liked:
"Facebook becomes a safe and sanitized room where I can watch the ups and downs of other as an anonymous spectator, with no compulsive impulse to respond and care in any meaningful way. As as I do, I become more and more blind to the flesh and blood around me." (p. 53)
"In Donna Freitas's extensive study of the social-media habits of college students, one sharp female student told her: 'People used to do things and then post them, and the approval you gained from whatever you were putting out there was a byproduct of the actual activity. Now the anticipated approval is what's driving the behavior or the activity, so there just sort of been this reversal.' Phones with social connections transform us - and our friends and children - into actors. That's huge." (p. 97-98)
"The walls of inconvenience [or fear of getting caught/seen] that made vices difficult to act on in previous generations have been lowered or eliminated in the digital age." (p. 134)
"In the end, I wonder if most of the self-destructive patterns in our lives - from overeating to worrying to fighting to overspending to grabbing our phones first thing in the morning - are the result of starved imaginations, malnourished of hope." (p. 142-43)
"In the introduction to his landmark book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman contrasted two very different cultural warnings, those of George Orwell's 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Orwell argued that books would disappear by censorship; Huxley thought books would be marginalized by data torrent. Postman summarizes the contrast well. 'Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much information that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared that the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.' Huxley seems to have won." (p. 145)
"Social media is not replacing the mass media; it is becoming the filter through which the content produced by the mass media must now pass to reach untold masses." (p. 148)
"What I am coming to understand is that this impulse to pull the lever of a random slot machine of viral content is the age-old tactic of Satan. C.S. Lewis called it the 'Nothing' strategy in his Screwtape Letters. It is the strategy that eventually leaves a man at the end of his life looking back in lament: 'I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.'...Lewis's warning about the 'dreary flickering' in front of our eyes is a loud prophetic alarm to the digital age." (p. 191)
