July 2022 Cookbook Reviews

 

Super Simple Homemade Pasta by Aliza Green

This homemade pasta cookbook cover the basics of making your own pasta dough and various ways to shape/cut it. The first section covers making/shaping dough and a few recipes for different types of dough. The second section covers recipes for various types of pasta dishes. I was hoping to find some recipes for ravioli or other recipes using fresh pasta. I didn't really find any recipes I wanted to try and overall just didn't feel like this was a very helpful cookbook overall.

The Wellness Principles: cooking for a healthy life by Gary Deng, M.D.

I was interested in this cookbook since it's written by a medical doctor. I liked that in the introduction of the book he talks about being frustrated that as a doctor he wasn't really making his patients well he was treating their problem/issue only for them to keep coming back with the same problems/issues over and over again because other things weren't addressed like diet, sleep, etc. He included a section called "healthy living beyond the plate" that covered things like exercise, stress, sleep, social environment, etc. But, what I didn't like right from the start is that he was pushing a plant-based diet. Milk, red meat, and butter and NOT the dietary problems. Especially if you source those products from local farmers who are practicing regenerative farming. Fake milks and meats are NOT the answer to dietary or environmental concerns. So, I was already turned off by that and honestly didn't see any recipes I wanted to try. I wouldn't recommend this one at all.

July 2022 Reviews

 

Edible North Carolina: a journey across a state of flavor by Marcie Cohen Ferris, ed.

Edible North Carolina is a collection of essays all about food in North Carolina. From how restaurants adapted to survive the COVID shut downs to histories of local, family farms and everything in between is covered in this book. Each essay was followed by a recipe that was mentioned or pertained to that story. While I liked most of the essays and I love that Vivian Howard wrote the foreword, the Introduction was SO long and detailed that it should have either been fleshed out into it's own book or greatly edited/shortened for this type of book. I also wish that the essays had been organized by region, the order and topics just felt very random. I was also disappointed that there were very few essays about the Charlotte/Piedmont region of the state. It's obvious there is a HUGE local food movement in Asheville and Raleigh/Durham, but nothing much about Charlotte which is surprising because I think Charlotte is the biggest city in the state and we have tons of small, local, family farms in the Charlotte area. Overall, I did like it, but I think it could have been organized/edited better to create a more cohesive book.

Eating to Extinction: the world's rarest foods and why we need to save them by Dan Saladino

This is a really unique book that explores the importance of food diversity through foods that almost went extinct, but have been brought back from the brink by committed farmers and communities. The book is divided into 10 sections for types of food like vegetables, meat, cheese, etc. and each section explores a few specific types of food that were once commonplace in a specific area, but are now on the verge of being wiped out. Many of the food explored thrived in a specific environment and were crucial foods for that local/indigenous community, but as globalization and homogenization of food continues local foods are often lost to industrial, cheap food. Dan Saladino does a great job of really exploring this issue and highlighting what will be lost if these foods go extinct.

Joel Salatin, my favorite lunatic farmer, often says you never see monoculture in nature. Nature is diverse and when we try to force our monoculture will on nature it's a lose/lose for everyone. Thankfully Saladino found lots of people around the world who are working hard to keep their local food traditions not only alive, but to encourage these traditions to continue in the future.

Some quotes I liked:

"Of the 6,000 plant species humans have eaten over time, the world now mostly eats just nine, of which just three - rice, wheat and maize - provide 50 per cent of all calories. Add potato, barley, palm oil, soy and sugar (beet and cane) and you have 75 per cent of all the calories that fuel our species...Seen in the context of 2 million years of human evolution, these dietary shifts taking place at a global level, all pointing towards uniformity, are unprecedented. This is happening as we're just beginning to understand the importance of diversity to our own health. The richer our gut microbiomes (the trillions of bacteria, fungi and other microbes we all host) the better for us. And the more diverse our diets, the richer our gut microbiomes become." (p. 8)

"In the 1830s, the United States government saw it as a public duty to distribute diverse seeds 'of the choicest varieties' for free through the US Postal Service to farmers and homesteaders. In the space of two decades, the Federal government posted over a million seed packets to American farmers from a selection of 497 varieties of lettuce, 341 varieties of squash, 288 varieties of beets and 408 varieties of tomato. By the end of the twentieth century, only a tenth of that diversity had survived." (p. 106) [And now instead of handing out seeds the US government gives huge subsidies to industrial monoculture "farming."]

"'Outsiders criticise us for killing whales and wild birds, and they laugh at us for eating what they describe as rotten sheep,' [Gunnar] Nattestad said at the end of the meal. 'But I believe we are the ones who know the truth of what it means to kill an animal and eat its meat....the whales are free until the point of death, and our sheep are allowed to grow old. In your world, animals are trapped inside buildings and hidden away from view. Why is our meat any crueller than the slaughter of millions of animals inside industrial abattoirs no one ever gets to see?'" (p. 153)

"The idea was explored in the 1980s, using a line of birds which were born blind due to a genetic mutation. Like the ones in the Brazilian story, the chickens displayed no signs of feather-pecking or acts of cannibalism. 'They did not appear to have any other obvious welfare problems, and they were more productive,' said a review of the experiment years later, adding that scientists involved 'were of the opinion that blind hens could play a role in the future...This seemed, so to speak, to be a win-win situation: Farmers would make more money and hens would live better lives.' Bigger, faster and, for our benefit, even blind? Among animal ethicists, this is called the 'Blind Hens' Challenge.'" (p. 162) [WTF - this is like the more recent article about giving cows VR goggles so they can't see how terrible their CAFO living conditions are.]

"Yet science has taught us that microbes can also be dangerous, that some bacteria can kill. In the twentieth century, the view of microbes being deadly organisms took precedence. As a result, we waged a war on them, and cleansed and sterilised our homes and our food without discretion - all in the name of safety. Only recently have we learned that, from a health point of view, we have lost something in this process." (p. 264)

"There is an old Palestinian saying that Sansour shared with me before we said goodbye. 'He who does not eat from his own adze [a farming tool] cannot think with his own mind.' This is why a watermelon, a grain of wheat or a tiny sesame seed is such a powerful thing. Each one can be a taste of freedom." (p. 357)

I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants) by Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston

When I first picked up this book and realized the authors were Christian I was glad, but also slightly worried - PLEASE don't let this be another version of Find Your People by Jennie Allen (also with a yellow cover and in my opinion awful). But, it's not. Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston are obviously Christians, but they are not beating you over the head with it. And they actually have some good tips throughout the book. I liked that they alternated writing chapters and were real with the struggles that come with friendship as adults. They did give some solid, do-able tips (even for introverts) and covered some thorny issues like when a friendship ends or dealing with disagreements/arguments/fights, etc. I liked the book overall and felt like the tone was one of friends chatting. The main thing I didn't like was that they both seem to be part of the "messy mom" trend where you kind of brag about how messy and crazy your life is. I'm sure that's the truth, but that's not my life so I can't relate to that. One of my biggest issues in friendship is that I'm childfree and also a Christian, so in Church circles I've often felt like a circus freak. Many of their examples involved bonding with other mothers who had children close in age to theirs which is all great but not something I can personally relate to or do to find friends. Overall, I did like the book and felt like it did have some decent tips. And while the authors are clearly Christians I think anyone could get something out of this book because that's not the main focus.

Halfway Home: race, punishment, and the afterlife of mass incarceration by Reuben Jonathan Miller

Reuben Miller was a former chaplain at the Cook County Jail in Chicago and now is a professor of sociology. He has spent a decade studying mass incarceration and the after effects. He says that life after incarceration is it's own kind of prison - lists of very specific rules, hoop after hoop to jump through, and the demoralizing realization that the odds are very much stacked against you. But Miller has a personal connection to the prison system - both of his brothers and his father all spent time in prison. At times his grandmother, who was raising him and his two brothers, had to choose between watching one of her grandchildren go to jail or a group home or be evicted from her apartment for housing a criminal. Miller grew up poor and black and has seen countless friends and family members go to prison. While he managed to "make it" to the middle class this issue is still very personal to him and continues to affect him and his family personally.

Miller does a great job of exploring this issue from both a sociological standpoint (which is his primary work) and his personal experiences. It really gives a much better view of this overall issue and how it's such a vicious cycle that includes poverty in childhood, unresolved and generational trauma, drug use, lack of good jobs and housing, to all the limitations put on convicted criminals once they are out of prison. It's a sad book, but the overall tone wasn't depressing. The tone was more like the tired sigh from someone who's exhausted, but has no choice but to keep going. Definitely a very needed book about a very hard issue.

Some quotes I liked:

"The plea deal is a perverse kind of a confession. It is an abdication of the inquisitorial process. Fact-finding is unnecessary. No deep truths are revealed in plea deals. They are negotiations between a prosecutor with the power of incarceration and death at his or her disposal, whether or not there is evidence, and a defendant who just wants to go home...The people who take these pleas are typically stuck in cells and live under the threat of long prison sentences. They've been separated from their families. They confess guilt to a judge and to their accusers in open court, giving up their right to a trial that they likely couldn't afford. They do this whether or not they believe that they are guilty because copping a plea is the fastest way to get home, but almost everyone I met who took a plea regretted it." (p. 37)

"In Detroit, in 2013 the average response time for a 911 call was fifty-eight minutes, and that was for 'high-priority calls' like robberies, sexual assault, or active shooters. And the homicide clearance rate in Chicago in 2017 was 17 percent. This meant that 83 percent of the city's murderers were never brought to 'justice.' Why would anyone call the police?" (p. 76)

"In that moment, I understood why Jimmy worked so hard to make sure that I was comfortable. He lived in an economy of favors. With so many rules to follow and so much risk involved - one mistake could cost him his freedom - he needed favors from people he barely knew to meet his basic needs. Life for Jimmy was so chaotic in part because he was so often rejected. He moved from one catastrophe to the next. There was no way for him to anticipate that he would need a ride from me, but he had to stay in my good graces just in case he needed me." (p. 123)

"We were both surprised to learn that half of everything he received [money sent to prisoner's accounts for them to buy clothes, food, etc. in prison] over fifty dollars in a thirty-day period would be applied to pay down his legal debt. He owed thousands of dollars. He was charged six hundred and fifty dollars for the privilege of being represented by the checked-out public defender he'd met just once, on the day of his hearing, and sixteen hundred and eleven dollars for 'court costs.' Judges, stenographers, bailiffs, and clerks had to be paid, I suppose. There was a four-hundred-dollar extradition fee and a sixty-eight-dollar fee for the 'state minimum costs' to record his felony conviction...Every month, I spend hundreds of dollars on e-mails, phone calls, trust-fund deposits, and food for my brother, more when he needed to make a special purchase, like shoes that didn't give him blisters, and more still on holidays and when I visited him, something he never asked me to do. He knew how busy I was, and he didn't want to impose. But this was my brother, and he was alone. I had to go and see him." (p. 134 & 136)

"Just about every woman I talked with had been sexually assaulted. An uncle. A boyfriend. A parent. A half sister's husband. One in six women nationally and a staggering 86 percent of all incarcerated women are survivors of sexual assault. Three-quarters of these women were abused at home, and over half were abused as children." (p. 148-49)

"The people the government has incarcerated, cut off from their family and friends, are twice as likely to die from any cause than anyone else in this country. They are three times as likely to die from heart disease and four times as likely to die from cancer. They are most likely to die within the first few years of their release...Studying the mortality of people released from prisons in New York State, the sociologist Evelyn Patterson found that for every year someone spends in prison, he loses two full years of life expectancy." (p. 196-97)

"Zo faced eviction. He had been to many different kinds of prisons - to juvie, to jail, to penitentiaries downstate - but he had never been homeless. Worse still, homelessness was a violation of parole." (p. 215)

June 2022 Reviews

 

The Babysitter: my summer with a serial killer by Liza Rodman and Jennifer Jordan

Liza Rodman grew up in the 1960's and while her mother was a school teacher during the school year, in the summers her mother worked as a maid in a motel in Cape Cod near Provincetown. Rodman's mother was horrible and never seemed to want her children around. Once her shift was done at the motel she and her best friend would go out dancing and drinking leaving Liza and her sister Louisa with whoever was around. One of Liza's favorite babysitters was Tony Costa, the maintenance man at the same motel where her mother worked. Tony would let Liza and her sister ride with him to the dump and would stop to buy them ice cream or other treats on the way back to the motel. Tony seemed to enjoy being around kids - Liza, her sister, and their cousins. He would also sometimes take them out to the woods where he had a "secret garden" - this garden is where he grew pot, but also where he dumped the bodies of 5 women killed. Liza never knew Tony was a serial killer until she was an adult and started having nightmares about Tony. When she called her mom to ask if anything ever happened with Tony her mom said, "well, he turned out to be a serial killer." Liza became obsessed with the case and started researching Tony's past and his crimes. If it hadn't been the 1960's I don't think he would have gotten away for so long, but this was the time of hippies, drugs, and hitchhiking so it was easy to assume the missing women were just off partying somewhere - at least until the bodies turned up.

The book alternates between Liza's story of her childhood - which was AWFUL - and Tony's history and his crimes. Seriously, I think her mom was almost worse than the serial killer babysitter (he never harmed Liza or her sister). Tony had a pretty traumatic childhood as well, but it also seems like he was a sociopath from a pretty early age. He was also doing a LOT of drugs and it seemed like he was trying to self-medicate or suppress his violent tendencies. There is a lot of detail about Tony's past and his crimes so the authors were very thorough in their research. My only complaint was that the alternating chapters between Tony and Liza were really short and it made the story feel choppy. I wish the alternating parts had been a little longer so you got more of each story at one time. Definitely a chilling story and it says a lot about Liza's childhood that a serial killer was kinder to her than her own mother was. "'That's just the way it was back then,' she said recently, and chuckled softly, remembering her golden days on Cape Cod. 'Boy, oh boy, I sure had a good time. But then I remember I had two little kids and I wonder who the hell was looking after you girls.' Who indeed." (p. 301)

Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras

I was familiar with Evy Poumpouras from the true crime docu-series The Disappearance of Maura Murray. So when I saw that she had written a book I wanted to check it out. Poumpouras has had an amazing career and was very driven from a young age. She started out applying for the NYPD and during the police academy she had the opportunity to apply for the United States Secret Service. The Secret Service only admits 1% of applicants (for comparison Harvard admits 6% of applicants), so the fact that she did get in and make it through the training says a lot about her. She went on to protect several US Presidents and their families all over the world. She also became a highly trained polygraph examiner for the Secret Service. So, in this book she shares many of the techniques she's learned in her time in the Secret Service about how to protect yourself and your family, how to read people, and influence situations. She gives both "real-world" examples and examples from her time in the NYPD and Secret Service. She is most definitely a badass and anyone could learn something from this book.

"One of the best strategies toward objectively fixing a problem is to use the Third-Person Soluntion. Take whatever dilemma you're facing and project it onto someone else. Perhaps a friend or family member. Now, look at the issue as if they're coming to you with it. What would you tell them? What guidance would you give? If you can avoid making it about you, you can begin to see it as a more simplified and less muddied version of the problem, and then begin making clearer decisions." (p. 75)

"Situational awareness is more important to your personal protection than learning how to handle yourself in a fight. If you're aware of your surroundings, odds are you won't need to fight. On the other hand, you can learn all the fancy self-defense moves and techniques and strategies out there, but if you don't see the problem coming, none of it matters. You will be blindsided when things go wrong, which means you won't have the chance to thwart the threat or get to safety." (p. 94)

"We all make mistakes. Some are small and some not so small, but the fact remains that they happen. We've all been taught that mistakes are terrible, a source of shame that will tarnish us forever. Frankly, that's true only if you don't take accountability for them. Here's the thing- many mistakes are inevitable and forgivable. Yet, no mistake is worse than failing to own up to it. It's a matter of character and integrity. There is truly nothing more inspiring than when people make an honest and thorough appraisal of a mistake and take full responsibility for their own errors or lapses in judgement...And remember that no one wants to follow anyone who shirks or cowers away from taking responsibility. We all fuck up. But how we recover from our fuckups is how we differentiate ourselves." (p. 261)

Confident Women: swindlers, grifters, and shapeshifters of the feminine persuasion by Tori Telfer

This is a compilation of stories about famous, or infamous, con women throughout history. The book is divided into sections of types of con women - the glitterati, the seers, the fabulists, and the drifters. Telfer is a good writer and storyteller. I'm not sure this book would have been as interesting if someone else had written it because it's just a collection of stories about con women. I think some of the ones earlier in history were women who weren't made for that time - too smart and driven for the prescribed roles of the day. But, most of the women profiled in this book are just awful people, plain old criminals and sociopaths. There are definitely some interesting stories and Telfer does a good job of telling their criminal tales.

True Story: what reality TV says about us by Danielle J. Lindemann

Danielle Lindemann is a sociology professor at Lehigh University. In True Story she explores what reality TV says about us as a culture and our values. The first section of the book looked at how to view reality TV shows through a sociological lens and the second section focuses on what reality TV says about different aspects of our culture - class, race, gender, sexuality, and deviance. It's an interesting book and it definitely made me think more about some of these shows that I often write off as trashy or dumb (any Real Housewives or Kardashian shows). I definitely watch reality TV and Lindemann does a good job of really exploring what these shows say about our overall culture/values and why we are drawn to them. It was really interesting when she talked about why people watch reality TV - whether lower class people aspiring or dreaming of being rich like the Kardashians or Real Housewives or upper class people watching more as a "train wreck" to reinforce their own views and position in society as right/better. The chapter on deviance was really interesting too because Lindemann doesn't mean deviant like kinky or criminal, but more in outside the norm - so shows like My Strange Addiction or Hoarders fit into this category. Overall, a really interesting and unique book.

Also, as a side bar, if you don't hear Jon from Real World season 2 singing "true story" from the intro to the show when you read this title did you even live through the 90's?!

Some quotes I liked:

"Like our controlling images of poor and working-class people, or the racial stereotypes that have their roots in minstrelsy, our long-standing beliefs about women and men as 'naturally' different helps to justify the unequal roles we play in the home, the workplace, politics, and the economy." (p. 197)

"The presence of deviance doesn't mean that society is breaking down; it means its working correctly. For [Emile] Durkheim, deviance shores up our notions of what's normal and, in doing so, reinforces our social cohesiveness. Like townspeople in an old horror film chasing after a monster with their torches, we are bonded in our collective rejection of the ones who do not belong. This has always happened, Durkheim suggests, and will always happen. If fact, if we were a society of saints, we would simply redraw the boundaries of acceptability so that some of our members might still be cast as deviant." (p. 247)

"Even if the acceptability of these programs does vary, there's a reason people refer to the genre, writ large, as 'guilty pleasure' TV. We reserve that label for a particular range of cultural pursuits. We likely wouldn't call attending a Shakespearean play or reading Proust a 'guilty pleasure,' so why are we guilty about this?...aside from the occasional educational nugget, we don't 'get' anything from these programs. Yet professional sports don't have intellectual value either, and we don't regularly refer to them as 'guilty pleasures.'...unlike sports, it's a genre associated with more female viewership than male and we tend to devalue cultural products geared toward women (e.g., 'chick flicks,' 'chick lit')...There's a stink to reality TV that has never quite worn off, no matter how many people watch or how much the genre becomes a part of contemporary life. And maybe we're reticent to admit we watch these shows because we think their participants' behavior reflects on us - and maybe because we know that it does." (p. 251-53)

[On Donald Trump as reality TV star turned President of the United States] "As the communications theorist Dana Cloud points out, Trump's devotees took him 'seriously' but not 'literally': 'His language is keyed to produce a feeling rather than make a convincing argument....Part of being credible is resonating with the lives and struggles of one's audience.' Along similar lines, the media scholar Misha Kavka has pointed out that reality TV 'works at the level of feeling rather than cognitive content.'" (p. 260-61)

"Americans have long been concerned with the erosion of 'traditional' values, and one might expect reality TV's outrageous misfits to be at the leading edge of that erosion. But while conservative groups would be unlikely to endorse most of these shows, they've havens for some of the most old-fashioned values that pulse through contemporary American society. They show us how steadfastly we cling to conventional ideas about, for instance, families, marriages, sex, women's roles, Black bodies, and queer people. And here, too, reality TV and Donald Trump align. Both have relied on conservatism repackaged as outlandishness." (p. 262-63)

May 2022 Cookbook Reviews

 

Half Baked Harvest Every Day by Tieghan Gerard

I liked Gerard's pervious Half Baked Harvest cookbooks, but this one didn't impress me as much. It's set up like a typical cookbook with chapters for breakfast, appetizers, chicken, beef, dessert, etc. There were a few recipes I'd like to try, but not as many as in her previous ones. I did like that she notes which recipes are 30 minutes or less, one-pan, etc. Overall, a good cookbook but not one I'm going to run out and buy or heavily recommend.

Pizza Quest: my never-ending search for the perfect pizza by Peter Reinhart

When I put this book on hold through my library I didn't even realize it was by Peter Reinhart! I've had the pleasure of meeting him and having him do programs for me at libraries where I've worked and he is a great speaker and author. I didn't know about his Pizza Quest video series which I'll definitely be checking out now. This book was inspired by the video series he started about his quest for great pizza. Reinhart gives some basic pizza dough and sauce recipes, then tells a little about a great pizza he's found and gives his interpretation of how to make that pizza (being careful to not give away any restaurant/recipe secrets). I like the idea and how Reinhart both encourages making your own pizza and also finding good pizza restaurants to support. If you're a pizza fan or a Peter Reinhart fan you'll enjoy this one.

The Van Life Cookbook by Susan Marque

I have no desire to live out of a van, but down the road I wouldn't mind having a smaller RV for traveling so I thought I would check out this cookbook. When I saw it I kind of laughed because it's so tiny, but you won't be preparing a multi-course Thanksgiving meal in a van either! Marque gives some tips for cooking in a small space and how to use what you have well. I did feel like some of the staples she suggests are more her tastes and not just basic cooking staples. I also felt like a lot of the recipes weren't much of a recipe like oatmeal or a salad. I think more tips about what stores best, how to eat fresh food on the road, etc. would have been more helpful for the target audience of this book.

Boards: stylish spreads for casual gatherings by America's Test Kitchen

Boards and spreads are definitely a current trend in food/cooking right now. You might think what could a new cookbook have to offer that others haven't already? But, in this cookbook America' Test Kitchen explores three kinds of boards - traditional boards (what you think of with a food board), buffet boards (one main component like salad greens with several topping options in smaller dishes), and spreads (kind of a combo of the previous two categories - creating several boards within a theme). Each board/spread shown gives tips on setting it up, what to make vs. what to buy, and ways to "level up" that board. There are TONS of great ideas and several recipes that I'd like to try as well. Definitely a good addition to the food board/spread theme.

Homestead Recipes by Amanda Rettke

The Rettke family are homesteaders, but they also still use the grocery store and appreciate the air conditioning that comes from living on the grid. This cookbook is the culmination of recipes she's created and posted on several blogs she's had over the years. It's organized by type of recipe - breakfast, appetizers, main dishes, etc. with the exception being that I can't think of another cookbook with an entire chapter on zucchini (which I also love so I was excited to see what she had in there). There were lots of recipes I'd like to try and you definitely don't have to be a homesteader to get a lot of use from these recipes. Overall, a good cookbook with a lot of homestyle/comfort food recipes.

365: a year of everday cooking and baking by Meike Peters

Meike Peters organizes this cookbook as if you could cook one of these recipes for every day of the year. The recipes are divided into months, which would make you think that they are more seasonal, but they don't appear to be. I also felt like a lot of the ingredients were not commonplace things most people would have in their pantry to regularly buy at their local grocery store. And the recipes that are grouped together don't really seem to work with each other like you would expect. Plus, there aren't enough photos of the recipes. A recipe is much easier to make if you have a general idea of what the finished product should look like. Overall, this one was disappointing. I would not recommend.

 

May 2022 Reviews

 

Cultish: the language of fanaticism by Amanda Montell

"This is a book about the language of fanaticism in its many forms: a language I'm calling Cultish (like English, Spanish, or Swedish)." (p. 13) Amanda Montell explores cults through the language they use and how that language is designed to draw us in and keep us in despite any red flags we're seeing. The first section of the book discusses the language we use to talk about cultish groups, including myths about what the term "cult" even means. The rest of the sections discuss specific types of cults and how language plays out in those more specific types of cults or cultish groups - "suicide cults," controversial religions, MLMs (multi-level marketing companies), "cult fitness," and social media gurus. I thought this was a really unique way to look at cults and how there are so many similarities regardless of what the theology/beliefs are. Despite several reviews I read, Montell doesn't equate Jonestown with MLMs or Peloton users. A lot of the book is looking at how cultish language is at play throughout our world and what does it mean - is it really a cult? Or is the language being used as a marketing technique? The reviews I read were kind of mixed, but I absolutely loved this book. I'm currently running a Learning Circle at the library where I work about cults and decided to read this book at the same time and it honestly could have been a textbook for this class it fit so perfectly. I was impressed overall and think if you are fascinated by cults then this book is a must read!

There were lots of quotes I liked:

"The reason millions of us binge cult documentaries or go down rabbit holes researching groups from Jonestown to QAnon is not that there's some twisted voyeur inside us all that's inexplicably attracted to darkness...we're still hunting for a satisfying answer to the question of what causes seemingly 'normal' people to join - and, more important, stay in - fanatical fringe groups with extreme ideologies. We're scanning for threats, on some level wondering, Is everyone susceptible to cultish influence? Could it happen to you? Could it happen to me? And if so, how?" (p. 11)

"The twenty-first century has produced a climate of sociopolitical unrest and mistrust of long-established institutions, like church, government, Big Pharma, and big business. It's the perfect societal recipe for making new and unconventional groups - everything from Reddit incles to wo0-woo wellness influencers - who promise to provide answers that the conventional ones couldn't supply seem freshly appealing. Add the development of social media and declining marriage rates, and culture-wide feelings of isolation are at an all-time high. Civic engagement is at a record-breaking low." (p. 21)

"For those who bristle at the idea of comparing workout classes to religion, know that as tricky as it is to define 'cult,' scholars have been arguing even harder for centuries over how to classify 'religion.' You might have a feeling that Christianity is a religion, while fitness is not, but even experts have a tough time distinguishing exactly why. I like Burton's way of looking at it, which is less about what religions are and more about what religions do, which is to provide the following four things: meaning, purpose, a sense of community, and ritual. Less and less often are seekers finding these things at church." (p. 24)

"Only the most destructive cults gain attention, so we come to think of all cults as destructive, and we simultaneously only recognize the destructive ones as cults, so those gain more attention, reinforcing their negative reputation, and so on ad infinitum." (p. 36)

"Eileen Barker's studies of the Moonies confirmed that their most obedient members were intelligent, chin-up folks. They were the children of activists, educators, and public servants (as opposed to wary scientists, like my parents). They were raised to see the good in people, even to their own detriment. In this way, it's not desperation or mental illness that consistently suckers people into exploitative groups - instead, it's an overabundance of optimism." (p. 98)

"When you're experimenting with faith and belief, there has to be room to ask questions, express your misgivings, and seek outside information, both early on and deep into your membership. 'The most important thing to remember is that if something is legitimate, it will stand up to scrutiny,' [Dr.] Steven Hassan told me." (p. 149)

"It's not totally clear why some people have a System 1 Spidey sense for pyramid schemes, quack health cures, and other too-good-to-be-true messaging while others don't. Some researchers say it might be related to differences in trust that stem from early childhood - the theory being that when you develop trust as a little kid, it sets a lifelong expectation that the world will be honest and nice to you. All sorts of childhood exposures could cause a person to become more or less trusting." (p. 194)

"Research consistently shows that something like one in five CEOs has psychopathic tendencies." (p. 197)

"According to [Michael] Shermer [founder of the Skeptics Society], studies show that American test subjects with the lowest education levels have a higher probability of subscribing to certain paranormal beliefs, like haunted houses, Satanic possession, and UFO landings; but it's test subjects with the most education who are likeliest to believe in New Age ideas, like the power of the mind to heal disease." (p. 270)

"No 'cult leader' takes advantage of our psychological drives quite like The Algorithm [of social media], which thrives on sending us down rabbit holes, so we never even come across rhetoric we don't agree with unless we actively search for it." (p. 280)

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (Books & Banter and Evening Edition book clubs)

Nora Seed has had a disappointing life. Whatever path she takes seems to be the wrong one and after a particularly bad day she decides she's done with life and plans to kill herself. But, instead of dying she ends up in The Midnight Library where she has to confront all her regrets and can re-live some of the lives that could have been to see if the paths not chosen would have been better or not.

I had heard almost nothing but high praise for this book, but I did not like it at all. I would have put it down after the first 50 pages if it wasn't for both of my book clubs reading it. I didn't like Nora, I didn't like the premise of the library and I pretty much guessed the end about 50-75 pages in. This was like an awful self-help book masquerading as a novel. Haig really beat a dead horse ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS BOOK. Also, it seems like this book takes depression and suicide too lightly - like "oh, just appreciate your situation more and you'll be happy and fine." Ugh. Do NOT see what all the hype is about on this one.

To Boldly Grow by Tamar Haspel

Tamar Haspel was already a foodie and writer, but didn't consider herself an "adventurer." Her husband was very much an adventurer and doer, so he got them started in the food growing world with a rooftop vegetable garden. When they decided to move from New York city to Cape Cod, Haspel had the idea of trying to go a year eating at least one "first-hand" every day. She defines "first-hand food" as food they either grew, raised, foraged, or hunted themselves. Living on Cape Cod that meant a lot of fish and clams at the beginning, but as their food adventures continued their "first-hand food" menu expanded. Eventually they were gardening, foraging, raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, and pigs, and kept bees. They also fished and hunted. I was honestly more impressed that they started doing all this in their 40's - a lot of the things they did are very physically demanding. I was also super impressed (and somewhat surprised) that Haspel who was adamantly anti-gun would want to start hunting. Overall, it's a solid food/gardening/homesteading memoir.

Some quotes I liked:

"Gardening and clamming, the activities, don't bear much resemblance to each other. One is terrestrial and one, aquatic. One yields a plant, and the other, an animal. The skills and tools involved are completely different. Only one requires waders, which are unflattering to absolutely everybody. But the satisfaction of the food itself was identical. In the next few years, I'd discover it was the same with fish I'd caught, venison I hunted, mushrooms I'd foraged. Yet there was no name either for that satisfaction or for the category of food that elicited it. The category, I've taken to calling first-hand food." (p. xx)

"Many of us who believe livestock should have a decent life are trying to convince American consumers that it's worth it to spend a little more for eggs, milk, and meat from well-treated animals. One of the arguments, often, is that those products taste better. If those products don't taste better, the American consumer who ponies up the extra bucks only to find that the expensive stuff tastes just like the cheap stuff is going to feel, quite rightly, that she's been sold a bill of goods." (p. 66) [I disagree with the author on this one. While it may be true that blind egg tasting can't distinguish free-range eggs over factory farmed eggs, there is a HUGE difference in nutritional content. I wish she had explained that and there are studies that show it as well. Sustainably raised meat is light years in nutritional content above factory farmed meat.]

"All our first-hand food activities have connected us to our community and introduced us to people we wouldn't have met otherwise, but none as much as hunting. I'm a left-leaning centrist with a libertarian streak, and the hunting world most definitely leans right. Meeting people who don't share your politics, outside the realm of politics, gives you a chance to see them as three-dimensional, as people who share an interest with you, as people you might even like." (p. 216)

Damaged Goods: new perspectives on Christian purity by Dianna Anderson

I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but decided to read it based on the title. I grew up in the Church during the Purity movement, but my childhood church wasn't fully engulfed in it. I definitely think the Purity movement is damaging - particularly to women and Anderson did a good job of showing some of the ramifications of it. But, despite the title, she did not give a "new perspective on Christian purity." Her solution is to just do whatever you want sexually and not feel bad about anything (as long as everyone involved is consenting). Despite trying, she did not make a biblical case for her views at all. This is a hard issue, but I still believe there is a middle ground between Purity culture and doing whatever you want sexually. Especially if you're claiming to be a Bible-following Christian. I don't have all the answers, but this book is not it.

A much better book on the Purity movement is Pure by Linda Kay Klein and a fantastic book that explores the biblical support of egalitarianism is The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr.

A quote I liked:

"Large portions of modesty teachings are centered on making sure women know our place in the larger scheme of things. We are to be submissive, demure, and quiet. Once we buck this standard, once we step out of line, we will lose the supposed respect of people who did not respect us in the first place." (p. 92)

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

According to Brene Brown "To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves, but to do either, we must first establish a common understanding of the language of emotion and human experience." (p. xxx) So, Atlas of the Heart attempts to do that - Brown and her team categorized 88 emotions and organized them by categories that grouped similar emotions together. Each chapter is one category that explores several emotions and reiterates that differentiating between emotions is important for real connection. While the concept is interesting, this read more like a beginner's level textbook than a popular non-fiction or self-help book. It is also weirdly oversized and could have easily been cut down to a more regular book size. About every 3rd page is an oversized quote from the nearby pages - to me that seemed mostly unnecessary. I think this book could be helpful for a therapist or even a teacher to help patients or children understand different emotions and why it's important to name emotions correctly. But, I wouldn't recommend this one to the average non-fiction reader. I've only read a few other Brene Brown books, but this one was very different from the other books I've read by her. Overall, it's interesting information, but feels more scholarly or instructive.

Some quotes I liked:

"This is one reason we need to dispel the myth that empathy is 'walking in someone else's shoes.' Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it's like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn't match my experiences." (p. 124-25)

"This connection between humiliation and aggression/violence explains much of what we're seeing today. Amplified by the reach of social media, dehumanizing and humiliating others are becoming increasingly normalized, along with violence. Now, rather than humiliating someone in front of a small group of people, we have the power to eviscerate someone in front of a global audience of strangers." (p. 149)

"The brokenhearted are the bravest among us - they dared to love." (p. 191)

"A 2014 article in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on 'motive attribution asymmetry' - the assumption that your ideology is based in love, while your opponent's is based in hate - suggests an answer. The researchers found that the average Republican and the average Democrat today suffer from a level of motive attribution asymmetry that is comparable with that of Palestinians and Israelis. Each side thinks it is driven by benevolence, while the other is evil and motivated by hatred - and is therefore an enemy with whom one cannot negotiate or compromise." (p. 228-29) [And that is pre-2016 election AND pre-COVID...]

"The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets - John Mark Green." (p. 238)

Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff by Matt Paxton

Matt Paxton is probably best known for his work on the TV series Hoarders. But, in this book he gives tips on how to declutter, downsize, or move with all the experience he's learned in over twenty years of working in the industry. Each chapter focuses on a particular step or issue in the process - for example how to best sort through photographs and paperwork or how to most efficiently sell your belongings or decide what to sell vs. donate. And in each chapter he also includes either a personal story or a story from a client who highlights that particular chapter's topic. Along the way he gives TONS of detailed tips and company/business information.

I've always been fascinated by hoarding and I always liked the episodes of Hoarders that Matt was on, but I put this book on hold before I even realized he wrote it. I'm not a hoarder, but I'm also far from a minimalist. I wanted to read this book to see if it had some tips on dealing with more of the emotional side of family/personal stuff. There were some emotional tips, but it was mostly more practical/physical tips on how to manage the stuff. But, I did like hearing more of his personal story and the book was very well-written with lots of helpful information.

Unearthing the Secret Garden by Marta McDowell

I absolutely LOVED The Secret Garden as a kid and remember watching one of the movie versions with my Dad. My Dad was a gardener and I remember us going to visit gardens on the weekends and looking for one like The Secret Garden with a brick wall enclosure. Frances Burnett had a very interesting life, especially for the time as a woman. She was very successful as a writer and worked all the time, but also devoted lots of time to gardening and planning her gardens. This book is divided into 4 sections - about each of her three homes and the gardens she kept there and how they inspired her to write The Secret Garden. The final section is some of her other writings including a precious story of the robin who inspired the robin in The Secret Garden book. The final chapter is written by Frances's great-great-granddaughter Keri Wilt about her great-great-grandmother's gardening inspiration in their family. Overall, it was a great book about Burnett's love of gardening and how that inspired one of the world's most beloved children's books. If you're a fan of The Secret Garden AND a gardener then this is the perfect book for you. It reminded me a lot of Beatrix Potter's Gardening Life by Marta McDowell.

A quote I liked:

"And as long as you have a garden you have a future, and as long as you have a future you are alive." (p. 267)

12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke

12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You is about how much smartphones and social media have become a near-constant part of our daily lives and what that means for us a Christians. Reinke isn't arguing for going back to pre-smartphone days, but does make some good points about evaluating the actual benefits versus drawbacks of smartphones. This book is written for a VERY SPECIFIC audience - adult Christians. I felt like it would have been hugely beneficial to talk about issues around smartphones/social media and children - especially from a Christian perspective - but that isn't discussed at all. I also feel like more data about phone/social media usage in general would have been helpful, but almost all the data he mentions is from a survey geared towards Christians. Not that that data isn't helpful, but general data on phone/social media usage and how it's grown/changed especially in the last few years would have add to the book in my opinion. I felt like the overall message was as Christians our focus should be on Christ, not ourselves or the world and is whatever I'm doing (on your phone or not) glorifying God and helping spread the gospel. I felt like these two main points were made in pretty much every chapter, so it overall felt a little repetitive to me. But, there were some good points made and I liked that there were several lists of questions to ask yourself about how your phone/social media usage is impacting your life and/or spiritual walk with God.

Some quotes I liked:

"Facebook becomes a safe and sanitized room where I can watch the ups and downs of other as an anonymous spectator, with no compulsive impulse to respond and care in any meaningful way. As as I do, I become more and more blind to the flesh and blood around me." (p. 53)

"In Donna Freitas's extensive study of the social-media habits of college students, one sharp female student told her: 'People used to do things and then post them, and the approval you gained from whatever you were putting out there was a byproduct of the actual activity. Now the anticipated approval is what's driving the behavior or the activity, so there just sort of been this reversal.' Phones with social connections transform us - and our friends and children - into actors. That's huge." (p. 97-98)

"The walls of inconvenience [or fear of getting caught/seen] that made vices difficult to act on in previous generations have been lowered or eliminated in the digital age." (p. 134)

"In the end, I wonder if most of the self-destructive patterns in our lives - from overeating to worrying to fighting to overspending to grabbing our phones first thing in the morning - are the result of starved imaginations, malnourished of hope." (p. 142-43)

"In the introduction to his landmark book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman contrasted two very different cultural warnings, those of George Orwell's 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Orwell argued that books would disappear by censorship; Huxley thought books would be marginalized by data torrent. Postman summarizes the contrast well. 'Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much information that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared that the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.' Huxley seems to have won." (p. 145)

"Social media is not replacing the mass media; it is becoming the filter through which the content produced by the mass media must now pass to reach untold masses." (p. 148)

"What I am coming to understand is that this impulse to pull the lever of a random slot machine of viral content is the age-old tactic of Satan. C.S. Lewis called it the 'Nothing' strategy in his Screwtape Letters. It is the strategy that eventually leaves a man at the end of his life looking back in lament: 'I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.'...Lewis's warning about the 'dreary flickering' in front of our eyes is a loud prophetic alarm to the digital age." (p. 191)

April 2022 Cookbook Reviews

 

Southern Baking Cookbook by Jenn Davis

I love a good Southern cookbook. While most "baking" books focus more on desserts or strictly bread, I liked that this was a combination of both sweet and savory baking. It's organized by type of recipes - pies (includes savory), cakes, cookies, breads, and breakfast baked goods. The author has a blog called Two Cups Flour that I hadn't heard of, but I might check it out now after seeing this cookbook since there are several recipes I'd like to try. Overall, a good Southern baking cookbook.

April 2022 Reviews

 

The Address Book by Dierdre Mask

When Deirdre Mask was living in Ireland she wanted to send a letter home to her family in North Carolina. When she was affixing the stamp she started to wonder about the postage and how it's possible to pay such a small fee and have your letter delivered across the world. That led to some Google searching and her stumbling upon the Addressing the World initiative that is working to help map and address homes around the world. That then led Mask to go down the rabbit hole of addresses and what they can mean for people, why street names and numbers matter (and what they also say about wealth, race, and class), and how different cultures view neighborhoods, streets, and what constitutes a home or address. While I did find the book interesting it was a little all over the place and often the chapters delved very deeply into history when it didn't always seem necessary (to me anyway). There was a LOT of interesting and unique information though. A few new things I learned - how often street names are changed (around the world and in the US), that in New York it's possible to buy "vanity addresses," and how a language reads often influences how that culture views neighborhoods and addresses (English speakers/readers vs. Japanese speakers/readers). An interesting book that gets a little too bogged down in details and history.

Some quotes I liked:

"China has used street names as a tool to keep ethnic minority regions in check, as political scientist Jonathan Hassid has described. You would expect place that have their own languages and cultures to have more variation in street names, but Hassid found that the opposite is largely true; areas with a higher concentration of ethnic minorities largely have streets that sound more like those in Beijing than other areas. Street names became one more tool to keep the locals under control." (p. 152-53)

"The more I read about German street names, the more I came across this word...Vergangenheitsbewaltigung. It's made up of two ideas - 'the past' and 'the process of coming to terms or coping.' It's a word that is very German, and it often used to describe the nation's reckoning with its Nazi past and the German division during the Cold War. But its meaning is universal. We all have the need to confront the past, memorialize it, struggle with it, do something with it. That something often involves street names." (p. 172)

"The growth of the Civil War monuments peaked twice: first, in the early twentieth century, when Jim Crow laws were being made, and then again in the 1950s and '60s when the laws were being challenged." (p. 185)

"As I write, the St. Louis suburb of Ladue, which is 87 percent white, has a median household income of $203,250. About seven miles away, the zip code around MLK Drive is 94 percent black, and the neighborhood's median income is about $27,608." (p. 198)

Taste: my life through food by Stanley Tucci

Stanley Tucci grew up in New York in an Italian family where food was love. And he got a LOT of love growing up. His childhood is where his love of food started and it's only grown from there. As an actor he began to look for ways to combine his acting with food -whether movies or his PBS series "Searching for Italy." A few years before COVID struck Tucci was diagnosed with a rare mouth cancer and while he survived it was a rough treatment and recovery. He couldn't eat during the treatment and had to have a feeding tube. And when he could start eating again he had to be very careful and couldn't eat anything and everything like before. Now he is back to normal, but I think that experience really highlighted how important food is for him - not just eating (everyone has to eat), but cooking, planning meals, enjoying food with family and friends, etc. The majority of the book is not about his cancer diagnosis, but more a collection of food related memories and experiences that shaped him. Was it the most amazing book ever written? No. But, it was a fun, food-filled memoir that also includes lots of family recipes. And if this book doesn't make you want to eat or cook then something is wrong with you.

A quote I liked:

"There have been two rather strange beneficial effects from the radiation treatments, neither of which I anticipated. One is an increased metabolism. I already had a very fast metabolism, yet now mine could keep pace with that of my eighteen-year-old self. The other is any food allergies I had, such as intolerance to dairy, sugar, and at times gluten, have basically disappeared. I have been told that because I didn't really eat for so long my system 'reset,' as it were." (p. 276)

Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad (Books & Banter book club)

Suleika Jaouad was just starting her "real life" after college. She'd just moved to Paris and had fallen in love with Will who moved to Paris to be with her. But, even before the move she'd been feeling run down and that only got worse in Paris. Eventually she was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia with only a 35% survival rate. She had to move back home with her parents and spent the next three and a half years literally fighting for her life. Once she was "cured" however, she felt lost. While she was sick there were different emotional struggles, but there was still the regime of treatment. Now she had to figure out who she was now and who she wanted to be. When she was sick she started writing columns for the New York Times and connected with people all over the country. So, once she was well enough she decided to take a 100 day road trip to connect with the people she had met online or through her articles. This 100 days turns out to be a different kind of healing process for Jaouad.

I was looking forward to reading this even though I knew it might be a tough book. But, honestly it was REALLY depressing. As several reviews I read mentioned, Jaouad is extremely privileged (which she does recognize), yet also seems somehow mad about her privilege and at her family and boyfriend who drop their lives to help her for several years. There aren't many people who would have stepped up like Will did especially after only dating for 6 months. She COMPLETELY took him for granted and expected him to behave like a long-time spouse. It took her a really long time to realize how badly she'd treated him and not just focus on the fact that he left her. I thought once she was better the book would get better, but it doesn't really. It's just a sad, depressing book and while it's well-written I didn't really enjoy it much. I bumped it up to three stars because the writing was really good. Overall, I didn't love it.

Some quote I did like:

"I understood now why so many writers and artists, while in the thick of illness, became memoirists. It provided a sense of control, a way to reshape your circumstances on your own terms, in your own words." (p. 107)

"After three and a half years, I am officially done with cancer - more than four years, if you start with the itch. I thought I'd feel victorious when I reached this moment - I thought I'd want to celebrate. But instead, it feels like the beginning of a new kind of reckoning. I've spent the past fifteen hundred days working tirelessly toward a single goal - survival. And now that I've survived, I'm realizing I don't know how to live." (p. 211)

"Trauma has a way of dividing you view of the world into two camps: those who get it and those who don't." (p. 271)

"I used to think healing meant ridding your body and the heart of anything that hurt. It meant putting your pain behind you, leaving it in the past. But I'm learning that's not how it works. Healing is figuring out how to coexist with the pain that will always live inside of you, without pretending it isn't there or allowing it to hijack your day. It is learning to confront ghosts and to carry what lingers. It is learning to embrace the people I love now instead of protecting against a future in which I am gutted by their loss." (p. 312)

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Michelle Zauner grows up in a small town in Oregon. She always felt out of place as half-Korean in a small, mostly white town. She finds an outlet in music, but her mother doesn't really approve and wants her to go to college and find a real career. Zauner has a complicated relationship with her mother, but of course loves her and fondly remembers their annual summer trips back to Korea. When Zauner is 25 her mother is diagnosed with cancer so she moves back home to help care for her. While dealing with her mother's illness Zauner reconnects more with her Korean roots and is drawn to learn how to cook all the Korean food she grew up eating. When her mother passes away food is what continues to connect Zauner with her father as they sort through their grief together. It's a sad, yet hopeful at the end book. The main irony being that after her mother's death Zauner records an album of songs about her mother and then plans to quit music and find a "real career." But, that album is what kickstarts her music career that is able to support both her and her husband in the band Japanese Breakfast.

I wasn't familiar with Zauner or Japanese Breakfast before this book, but picked it up based on some friends suggestions and the good reviews I'd heard. I didn't love it because it's pretty sad overall. But, it's well written and I really liked how Zauner focused on continuing to connect with her mother through their shared love of food.

A quote I liked:

"Neither one of my parents graduated from college. I was not raised in a household with many books or records. I was not exposed to fine arts at a young age or taken to museums or plays at established cultural institutions...But my parents were worldly in their own ways. They had seen much of the world and had tasted what it had to offer. What they lacked in high culture, they made up for by spending their hard-earned money on the finest of delicacies. My childhood was rich in flavor - blood sausage, fish intestines, caviar. They loved good food, to make it, to seek it, to share it, and I was an honorary guest at their table." (p. 23)

The Power of Fun: how to feel alive again by Catherine Price

I wasn't really sure what to expect with this one, but I put in on hold through my library based on the title. As I've gotten older I feel like I struggle to have fun and tend to let chores take over my free time. So, I thought this might be helpful to motivate me to find more fun in my life. The first section of the book is mostly about how smartphones are ruining people/things/etc. Her previous book is How to Break Up With Your Phone so that makes sense and mindless scrolling on social media is what the author deems "fake fun." It seems fun/relaxing, but really it's not good for us at all. The second part of the book spells out her SPARK fun philosophy - Make Space, Pursue Passions, Attract Fun, Rebel, and Keep At It. While she had some good ideas the majority of the book seemed to focus on continuing to break up with your phone and keeping a fun journal. I get the idea behind the journal and trying to figure out what made fun times you've had in the past actually fun and then trying to find ways to replicate that now, but it seemed super un-fun to have to do all this work on the front end. The book overall also kind of made me feel bad about myself (even though she constantly says not to be hard on yourself) for my lack of fun. Overall, I didn't love it. I initially thought I might like to read her prior book, but but now I'm not sure. Several reviews I read said this book seems to be a recap so maybe I already got the gist of that one too now.

Some quotes I liked:

"In a 2017 cover story in The Atlantic titled 'Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?' psychology professor Jean Twenge made this point when she wrote that 'it's not an exaggeration to describe [the generation that has grown up with smartphones] as being on the brink of the worst mental-health crisis in decades. Much of this deterioration can be traced to their phones.'" (p. 53)

"Before the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic, the average adult was spending upward of four hours a day on their phone, and for many of us, the number is now even higher. Four hours a day adds up to nearly sixty full days a year. It's nine months' worth of forty-hour work weeks. It's a quarter of our waking lives. And that's just our phones. Add in our tablets and televisions, our computers and videogame consoles, and I think it's safe to say that many people are now spending most of their waking lives staring at screens. Yes, obviously some of this is necessary for work. But think about it: How much time each day, if you're being honest with yourself, do you actually spend on your hobbies or with your partner, family, or friends, in person? Even if you add them all up, does it come anywhere close to four hours - let alone the total time you spend on all screens?" (p. 58-9)

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett (Evening Edition book club)

The Vignes twins grow up in a small Louisiana town called Mallard. Desiree and Stella look identical, but their personalities are very different. Mallard was founded by an interracial man who wanted to create a town for light-skinned African-American people and so that became what Mallard was known for. The twins decide to run away together to New Orleans when they are sixteen. While there Stella ends up being mistaken for white at a job interview and takes it because she can make better money. She doesn't intend to "pass" as white forever, but when she falls in love with her boss who only knows her as white she marries him and keeps that identity. But, the cost of that is her relationship with her sister and mother. Years later, fleeing an abusive relationship Desiree comes back to Mallard with her daughter and is constantly reminded of her missing sister. Eventually Desiree's daughter Jude and Stella's daughter Kennedy cross paths and begin to reconnect these two sisters very different lives.

I didn't have any expectations going into this one and I did like the book overall. It's well written and unique. But, I read several reviews that said that they felt like the characters weren't fully developed and I agree with that. I feel like a lot was left hanging with all the characters. I didn't fully realize it when I was reading it, but several reviews said that they felt the author was trying to compare Stella "passing" as white to Reece "passing" as a man. I just felt like Reece's character was odd overall because for that time period I don't think his relationship with Jude would have happened, much less lasted for years and years. That part to me felt forced into that time period because it's such a hot topic today. I do wish there had been more especially from Stella's perspective and I'd love to know if she stays in her marriage or not. I can't imagine living that kind of lie your whole life. Overall, I liked it but didn't think it was amazing.

Some quotes I liked:

[On the twins father being lynched] "'White folks kill you if you want too much, kill you if you want too little.' Willie Lee shook his head, packing tobacco into his pipe. 'You gotta follow they rules but they change 'em when they feel. Devilish, you ask me.'...But even here, where nobody married dark, you were still colored and that meant that white men could kill you for refusing to die." (p. 35)

"Sometimes she wondered if Miss Vignes was a separate person altogether. Maybe she wasn't a mask that Stella put on. Maybe Miss Vignes was already a part of her, as if she had been split in half. She could become whichever woman she decided, whichever side of her face she tilted to the light." (p. 188-89)

I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet by Shauna Niequist

I love Shauna Niequist and was excited to read her newest book. It did not disappoint. As in her previous books this is a collection of essays about everything from aging to the stress of moving to disconstructing and rebuilding your faith. The title comes from her family's move from the Chicago suburbs to New York City. Everything was new and their family slogan became I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet because they were constantly learning the "New York way" to do things they thought they already knew. But, obviously that phrase could cover a lot of things in our lives. I love how honest and open Niequist is with her own struggles because as she says when you're going through something hard you always feel like you're the only one. In all her books she is saying "me too" and opening the door to talk about hard things. Another great book from a wonderful writer!

A quote I really liked:

"Prayer is like yoga for our insides. My number one favorite kind of yoga is the kind that's mostly breathing and lying down. But my second favorite kind is when you're in a pose that's really demanding, and just for a few seconds you trust your body and you trust your breath and your body becomes able in that moment to do things it wasn't able to do before. It's an amazing feeling. This is the sacred, interior version of that." (p. 110)